Happy New Year!!

As you know I've been home by myself since Monday. We had a very nice Christmas at my In-Laws in the Quad Cities (I'm sure you've heard of the Quad Cities). The food was great and so was the company.

One of the things I look forward to every year is giving and receiving gifts. Of course I usually have an idea of some of the presents I'll receive but there is always that one unexpected gift that makes Christmas just a little bit more special. That's always my favorite gift - the one I didn't expect! This year I received some beautiful gifts and yes I also received the surprise, unexpected gift! It was one of those 'Secret Santa' gifts - you know, one of those gifts where you don't know who gave it to you! But unlike the typical Secret Santa gift, it's funny, nobody admitted that they gave me the gift (now I know how Anthony Mastacholli felt when I gave him the Fingerling Action Figure - but that's a whole other story).

I wondered why nobody owned up to giving me this gift but that's okay - I'm sure I figured it out!

The first clue that helped me to figure out who gave this present to me was when XXXXX came downstairs and said, "I don't feel good..." My next clue was when XXXXX's youngest daughter squirted a gieser of yellow diara up her back, right through her onesie! This yellow diarea was very similar to the yellow diarea I enjoyed the following day! My final clue was when XXXXX's sister said, "Oh XXX (XXXXX's wife) was puking her brains out last week - again puking my brains out was also a part of the gift I received!"

So, yes, I figured it out - I know XXXXX gave me this present - although I think it was actually from his whole family!! XXXXX was so generous this year! In fact, he was so generous he not only gave the gift to me, no, HE GAVE IT TO EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY!!!! :)

I have to admit I feel bad that I didn't give him a similar gift but I can guarantee you I really, really want to!! :)

Because of our experience this past week in Coal Valley, Ill Kelsie and I came up with some ideas for an unofficial nickname for Illinois. Here is a sample of some of our ideas:

1. Illinois - The Show Me - How to Toss Your Cookies State
2. Illinois - The What Happens in Illinois Doesn't Stay Down in Illinois State
3. Illinois - A Beautiful Place to Live, Squirt, and Barf!
4. Illinois - The Sooner or Later You're Going to Puke State
5. Illinois - The Incontinence State
6. Illinois - The Live Free or Die Puking State
7. Illinois - The There's Not a Better Place To Be On Your Knees, Hugging Your Toilet State
8. Illinois - The Life is Good - Then You Puke State
9. Illinois - The Vomiting - It's Why You're Here State
10. Illinois - It's not for Just Hurling Anymore
11. Illinois - The Guess Which End It's Coming Out State
12. Illinois - The Chunk Blowing State
13. Illinois - The Irritable Bowel Syndrome State

Alright, onto another subject...my In-Laws have a ping-pong table at their house and my kids love playing (they always lose to me but that's another story) so I decided to purchase one more gift...a Ping Pong Table.

It started out so simple...one big, heavy box...how hard can it be to put together a Ping Pong Table...I mean really...how many parts can it have...it's a stinking table!

It started out easy enough. I borrowed my neighbors pickup truck and bought the table from the Sports Authority. When I got it home I pushed the 150 pound box from the back of the truck bed onto my garage floor...

When I opened the box I realized my job was going to be more involved than just unfolding the table. I guess I'm silly but I assumed I would be able to unfold the ping pong TABLE like one of those little card tables we all have...

Once I realized it would be more involved I organized all the big parts...

And then I organized all the little parts...

Oh, by the way, I started this project at 5:45 pm...

Of course I had to break out all the man tools to make the job easy...I got my friendly hammer, screw driver, knife, duct tape, spatula, mixer, and chain saw - Semper Paratus - "Always Prepared"

See...that didn't take long...

I'm getting close...

See...that didn't take long...

I'm done! After putting this together I'm looking forward to doing something a lot simpler...like performing brain surgery...splitting an atom...or figuring out how Obama healthcare reform is a good idea...

The only problem I couldn't overcome was HOW TO TURN THE STINKING TABLE OVER ONCE I PUT IT TOGETHER!!!! And so I decided to call my neighbor to ask for help...I'm sure this is exactly what he wanted to do at 10:30pm on New Years Eve...

But it worked out...after he came over I crashed his party (actually I was invited believe it or not). I welcomed in the new year with several of my neighbor friends! They really are very nice and I had a great time...we scheduled our next man day (stage 5 rapids this time)...

The next morning I cleaned the garage and put the finishing touches on the Ping Pong table...looks pretty good if I do say so myself... :)

This is a surprise for Kelsie and Cameron...I'm looking forward to seeing their faces when we open the garage...I'm also looking forward to seeing their faces when I whoop them at ping pong...again...and again...and again...

Happy New Year!!!