The Past Week in Review

As you all know this past week we purchased a new house in Georgia...closing was on Monday, June 23rd. We had "some" work that needed to be done on the house prior to moving in and so I stayed in Georgia for most of the week to make sure the work got done. Then on Thursday night I flew back to Missouri to be there on Friday for the "packers" to pack up our stuff. My flight on Thursday was delay due to "weather" and so I didn't get in to St. Louis until about 12:30am...which is 1:30pm eastern time. On Friday I was there while the packers did their thing. After they did their thing...the plan was for the guys to have a guys weekend in Georgia and for the girls to have a girls weekend in St. Louis.

I'm not sure exactly what the girls did...probably girly things like, shopping, painting each other's nails, combing each other's hair, pillow fights, talking about boys - you know girly stuff. All I know is they said they had a fun time...

The guys weekend included manly things...like smoking cigars, shaving, walking around in our boxers, scratching ourselves, burping, farting, picking our noses and seeing who could flick the booger the farthest, biting off our toe nails, chasing chicks - you know guy stuff.

We did this to have quality bonding time with our two great kids before our big move...we thought is would be a great way to some of the stress our kids might be feeling...little did I know...the person who needed the most stress relief was ME!

The weekend started out easy enough...Cameron and I had breakfast at our normal Saturday morning place - McDonald's. Cameron picked out "Our New Table". In Missouri Cameron (and usually Kelsie) go to breakfast at McDonald's every Saturday at around 9:00am (that's why Kelsie doesn't always make it...the men in the house are the early risers on the weekend) and we had "Our Table" where we always sat...so we had to pick out a new "Our Table"...

After we had breakfast we had to do laundry...part of bonding with your child is teaching them about things they'll need to know about when they're older...like how to wash clothes, how to dry clothes, how to fold clothes, and how you need to wash your clothes if you have been wearing the same underwear for a week because all your clothes are dirty...you know - "Father Knows Best" types of things...




Like I said, you have to teach your children about things they'll need to know when they are older...here is Cameron shaving for the first time...his peach fuzz was getting a little unruly...don't worry the slash marks on his face will heal and we can use his blood soaked shirt for a rag...not a problem...





One important aspect of bonding with your child is being a good listener. As everyone knows Cameron likes boxers more than tighty whitey's...he says, "I like the..." I better stop right there...this is a family friendly site...

Cameron convinced me to buy a pair of boxers so I could "feel the freedom"...he also showed me how to wear my pants down low to show off "the wears"...I didn't wear them low enough for you to see the words "Aloha" on my boxers...



Later on in the day we stopped off at my work to get on my computer to do some work (I said that in case someone from UPS reads my blog) and to decide where we were going that day...Cam first said he wanted to go to a Civil War Museum and the Aquarium but we decided on "Stone Mountain" because it sounded more manly...



This picture was actually taken on Sunday...because notice...I have the "Stone Mountain" hat on...but I was there on Saturday also...doing work both days...okay anyone reading from UPS?...

Here is Cameron in front of Stone Mountain...why is it called Stone Mountain...because it's a big stone. Cameron thinks the people who named the Mountain needed a little more creativity...but if they weren't going to be creative they should have named it "Really Big Stone Mountain"...

On the side of Stone Mountain they have a picture of three famous southerners...some guys named Robert E. Lee (I think he's the guy who started the company that makes Lee Jeans), Stonewall Jackson (I think he was the great grandfather of Reggie Jackson - Mr. October), and Jefferson Davis (I think he was Sammy Davis Jr. grandfather). It started off as a beautiful day...it was sunny and in the 80's.

Later in the day it started getting cloudy and we started feeling some raindrops...but not to worry...my son - Cameron "Storm Field" James Richard Philip Hand - said that the clouds were moving "away from us" and we wouldn't have to worry about getting rained on...





A short time after Cameron's "weather forecast" it started pouring...I knew it was going to be bad when I noticed two animals from each species walking side by side (A Noah's Ark reference there) ...it was pouring, there was thunder and lighting...it was "awesome"...the white you see on "Really Big Stone Mountain With Water Falls Coming Down" is the water flowing off of the mountain...I have to say it was very cool to watch it...I'm just shocked we saw this because "the clouds were going away from us..." right Cam?





Here's "Storm" after the rain let up a little bit...





After the rain stopped we decided to take a ride on the "Ducks". The Ducks are the car/boats that can ride on the road and float like a boat. Because we were going on the Duck they gave us "quackers"...quackers are little plastic things that make quacking noises. Yea, I know what you're thinking...not very creative in Georgia...they name stone mountains...Stone Mountain...they name little plastic things that make quacking noises quackers...and in case you are wondering...the state name - Georgia - is named after a guy named George. Here's my advice to anyone thinking about moving to Georgia...if you are a big, fat, hairy lady - DON'T MOVE HERE!!!! They'll name your house, "Big, Fat, Hairy Lady House"... :)





Here I am with Stone Mountain behind me...I'm glad the people who named Stone Mountain didn't see this picture...if they did the mountain would have been named, "Mountain That is Almost as Big as Ken Hand's Head Mountain".




Cameron and I had a great time the whole weekend...ONLY with a boy can you have a serious discussion about what superpowers are better than others. You tell me which superpower you would rather have...would you rather have super speed like "Flash' or would you like to have the power to freeze things or the power to turn into a flame??? Who would you rather have protecting the universe????? A really fast guy, a guy who can turn things into ice, or a guy who can burn things???? Really, I need some feedback...Cameron and I need to settle this!!!!


After the fun of the weekend was over...the painters came to do some touch-up work at around 8:00am, then the floor guy came about 8:30am, then the moving company came around 9:00am...I think this was about the time my heart palpitations came...but I'm not sure...



Or maybe they started coming when my Real Estate Agent called me about my deck in Missouri and what I was going to do with it...my deck in Missouri didn't pass inspection and so we were told needed to knock it down and rebuild it...

No, maybe my hyperventilating started when I received a call from CARTUS (the company handling my relocation)..."Ken, if I don't have that estimate on the deck we can't buy your house...oh yea and what about the siding...what are you going to do about that." "Hold on Alice, ah yes, Como Esta, Moy Bein, yes, you can painto my bathroom trim el whito. Yea, one more minute Alice. Yes, put that bed in the room up to the right. Just one more minute Alice...no understando spanish...hey can you tell him not to rub the furniture against the white trim - it's just been painted. Why did we just paint it if we were moving today??? Oh shut up!!! Yes, yes, yes Alice...I will have the estimate to you today. What's you're fax number? Yes, I know you gave that to me...but I need you to give it to me again. Hold on Alice. Don't put your soda downo the draino - it's not connected yet!!!"




No wait, maybe my blood pressure shot up when my air conditioner started leaking. Hmmm, yea I think that was it. Since the doors were wide open the air conditioner was pulling in a lot more humidity and there was a problem with the hose (I find out several days later) which cause the water to overflow all over the basement carpet...while people were moving furniture and boxes in and out of my house...wet feet and dirt are a bad combination in a house that dozens of people are walking in and out of...yea, I think this impacted my stress level...




Oh wait, I think my cat, Jewel, had something to do with it...here she is on top of the cabinets shooting me with here laser eyes...

Here's a picture of some boxes in the kitchen BUT believe me it got a lot worse...by the time it was worse I couldn't take anymore pictures...especially when the "unpackers" came and "unpacked" the stuff in the boxes ALL over the house. If someone from Georgia named these guys they would be named "The Dumpers of Stuff All Over My House to Give Me a Heart Attach Guys"!!!!!



Okay...this is not a picture from Monday...but it's all a blur to me right now...have you ever seen a colony of ants devouring a piece of bread near your garbage can...you know...there are a million of them swarming that little piece of bread...well I'm sure that's how my house felt when we had our new roof put on...look closely...they're a million guys all over my roof...maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration but not much!!!!

This picture wasn't from Monday either but the driveway is packed with cars from the roofers, the painters, the landscapers, the floor guy, a few Jehovah's Witnesses, and one or two Mormons...if Cameron was more on the ball he would have set up a Lemonade Stand...he could have make a bundle of money...or if he had a Cervasa Stand he would have been set for life...can you hear my heart pounding???? I was trying to remember how to do that breathing they teach woman in Lamas (Don't know how to spell that word)...

Back to moving day...I just walked up stairs...holding my heart...with stress all over my face and one of the painters said, "Youo looko likeo you are going to dieo..."

Do you remember Sanford and Son when Fred would say, "Here's the BIG one...I'm coming home Elizabeth..." Well, I'm pretty sure when that water started pouring out of the air conditioner and people had to swim in and out of the basement is when I thought I was going to "Have the Big One!!!"

Here's my basement right now...with the industrial size fans and dehumidifiers...

And finally - here is a picture of me taken that day - I actually looked this way for a few days after...

I no longer look like this...and more importantly I don't feel like this. I am very thankful that Jim and Bonnie Collins hopped in their car when I called for their help. The house is actually looking pretty good right now - it's because of Sheri, Jim, and Bonnie...I've been no help...I've spent the last few days curled up in a corner of the living room, in the fetal position, mumbling, "No, I'm not feeling any stress...I'm fine...it's just a small little move...No, I'm not feeling any stress, I'm fine..." :) But seriously, it was a VERY STRESSFUL few days and I want to say thank you to everyone who helped to sooth me and comfort me during this overwhelming time...it meant a lot to me...