I'm Not a Smart Man But....

Would Democrats Sell their Mothers into Slavery?

2012-01-02T13:13:00.004-05:00

Those of you who read my blog know I am a Mitt Romney supporter. Based on his experience, his political views, and his temperament I believe he has the best chance of beating Barak Obama. Based on recent news stories and polls it appears a plurality of Iowans agree with me; I say this because all indications are that Romney will win the Iowa Caucus(es). This is encouraging because it tells me Republicans won’t waste their votes on a protest candidate; it tells me Republicans won’t be “McCained” again; and it indicates that Republicans aren’t willing to play Russian roulette with America’s (and their children’s) future like they did in 2008.

By now, everyone knows why I’m for Mitt Romney but do you know why I am so passionately against Obama and the Democrats? No? Well, you’re about to find out.

Before I get into the details, I need to talk to my a-political friends.

I know you don’t follow politics, I know you find it boring, I know you consider all politicians to be the same, I know you believe they are all corrupt. I know all this, but you’re wrong, all politicians are not the same and all political parties are not the same! The Democrat and Republican Parties are different. The Democratic Party has evolved into the “America Sucks” Party and President Barak Obama is the “America Really Sucks” President. Obama’s 2012 campaign slogan is going to be “Yes, America Sucks but it would Really Suck More if I wasn’t president!” Because of this the Democrats need to be defeated at the poles in November.

My a-political friend - you are needed in this fight - yes fight! We need everyone who cares about this country and their children’s future to fight against the Democrats and Barak Obama!

The Democrats and Barak Obama have their hands on the lever and they are about to flush our country down the toilet!

Barak Obama and the leaders of the Democratic Party are more interested in power than in the present or future well being of the United States or your children. Democratic leaders like, Barak Obama, Nancy Pelozi, Harry Reed, Barney Frank, Rahm Emanual, David Axelrod, and many others would sell their mother’s into slavery if it meant they would stay in power. No, this is not hyperbole - they would sell their mother’s into slavery in exchange for becoming President, Senator, Representative, Secretary of State, or head of the FDA - well maybe not for the head of the FDA but for the other positions their mothers should consider skipping the next family get-together.

The leaders of the Democratic Party, with absolute complicity from the main stream media, manipulate the poor and the uninformed on a daily basis. These two groups, along with political and legislative payoffs to unions and well connected businesses, plus gerrymandering, have been enough for the Democrats to win election after election when their policies go against the common sense of all sensible people.

In case you’re not aware of this - our country is disintegrating financially. We need to take serious steps to get our financial house in order. We need to take these steps very quickly - our time is running out! Every serious person understands that fundamental financial change is needed if this country is going to be the “Shining city upon a hill” that Ronald Reagan once talked about. We don’t look like a Shining city right now - we look more like an Opium smoking drug addict and our dealer is China and Barak is lighting us up. We are addicted to borrowing their money and like a drug addict we need to stop right now. To stop our addiction to China’s money we need to grow up and act like adults - we need to control our appetite for spending. The changes which need to take place include the following:

 Tax Reform
 Social Security Reform
 Medicare Reform
 Medicaid Reform
 Immigration Control
 Unemployment Insurance Reform
 Nuclear Power Plants
 Oil Pipelines
 Oil Drilling
 Eliminate Federal Cabinet Departments

Obviously I haven’t gone into any detail related to these issues because I’d bore my a-political friends to death (I know, too late) but I will summarize them very succinctly. The government needs to spend less then it takes in through taxes. But why haven’t our political “leaders” made any of these common sense changes?

Why haven’t they made decisions to reduce spending on these issues?

Why haven’t they reformed taxes?

Why haven’t they allowed the Keystone Pipeline to be built?

Why haven’t they allowed any nuclear power plants to be built?

Why haven’t they made reasonable modifications to Social Security?

Why haven’t the controlled our borders?

Why? Why? Why?

The liberal media says it’s because the Republicans and Democrats refuse to work together. I’m here to say - nothing can be further from the truth. The truth is - it’s the Democrats that refuse to make these changes. Yes - the Democrats - and only the Democrats! It is the fault of Barak Obama and the Democrat leaders in the house and senate. PERIOD! The Democrats don’t want to make these changes. They have repeatedly refused to make any of these common sense changes.

Democrats do NOT want to reform taxes, they don’t want to reform social security, they don’t want to secure the borders, they don’t want to build pipelines, they don’t want to build power plants - in short - they don’t want to do anything that will help this country.

Why don’t Democrats want to help this country? It’s because, to a Democrat, it’s much more important to be reelected than it is to help our country and our children’s future. They have small cliques of constituents who don’t want these things passed and they know they can rely on the liberal media to cover-up their culpability in the matter.

If you doubt me on this - consider the Keystone Pipeline issue. Do you know the story about Keystone? If you don’t, let me know, I’ll give you the full, unadulterated truth. It’s the epitome of the liberal media covering up the anti-American Democrats at work - screwing American’s in exchange for the environmental freak vote.

So, in conclusion, yes, it’s true, Democrats would sell their mothers into slavery if it would keep them in power. This is why it’s important for the Republicans to nominate someone who can win - and why all you a-political people need to get into the game - our country and, more importantly, our children need you!

Mitt Romney is the next Ronald Reagan...

2011-12-25T22:00:00.007-05:00

Recently, I’ve learned how Joseph Merrick (the Elephant Man) must have felt like when he screamed, “I am not an animal...” Over the past few weeks, since I’ve announced my support for Mitt Romney, I’ve been subject to a barrage of verbal abuse from my conservative friends. In fact, at times I’ve been tempted to scuttle away while screaming, “I am not a sell out, I am a human being!”

Unlike Joseph Merrick, I have decided not to scuttle along and accept the insults and derisive comments which have been directed toward me. Why? Because - I'm right! Yes, I'm right again. ;) As i've stated previously, Mitt Romney has the best chance of defeating Barak Obama! Newt Gingrich will lose, Ron Paul will lose, and the rest of the candidates will make the race too close for comfort.

But, again, why Romney? For those of you who don’t realize it - Mitt Romney is conservative. In fact, he is VERY conservative. Many people refer to him as moderate and some even ridiculously refer to him as a liberal Republican - nothing could be further from the truth. Since when is a candidate who believes in lower taxes, smaller government, secure borders, energy independence, a strong military, federalism, and conservative Supreme Court justices - considered to be moderate or liberal? I challenge anyone to point to anyone of his stated policies which indicates he is liberal or moderate.

Also, for those of you who don’t realize it - Mitt Romney is an outsider. He has never worked in Washington DC, he is not a darling of the Republican establishment, and he’s certainly not a friend of the liberal establishment. I’ve never seen an example of him receiving or giving political favors from or to any Washington insiders. I challenge anyone to provide an example of how Mitt Romney has benefited from his inside the beltway political relationships. Has he received $1.6m from any quasi-government organization in exchange for him pedaling his influence? Not that I can see.

Additionally, for those of you who are easily manipulated when the words “flip flop” are applied to conservative politicians by the liberal media; isn’t it okay to flip flop if your new position(s) is/are conservative. Personally, I’m glad Ronald Reagan flip flopped from the Democrat to the Republican party. I’m glad Bill Clinton flip flopped on welfare reform and signed the Republican welfare reform legislation. I’m glad Barak Obama flip flopped on Guantanamo. On the issues Mitt Romney has allegedly flip flopped on - has he changed from conservative to liberal positions or has he become more conservative?

If my comparing Romney to Reagan is tempting you to use the line, “I knew Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan was a friend of mine...Mitt Romney is no Ronald Reagan” - I have a few points. Mitt Romney is as conservative as Ronald Reagan! Yes, I said he’s as conservative as Reagan! On issue by issue - Romney is as conservative as our own Ronaldus Magnus!

Now, let me tell you one more way Romney is similar to Reagan - Romney doesn’t scare moderates or independents. That’s right, it’s important for conservative Republicans not to be scary. Why? Because the liberal media WILL demonize the Republican candidate and try to make people think he or she eats children. I remember very clearly how the liberal media tried to demonize Reagan when he ran for the presidency in 1979. Why didn’t it work? Because when people watched and listened to Reagan they could see he was a decent guy - and they ignored the media. In the same way, Romney doesn’t scare people; he’s a nice guy and so it will be difficult for the liberal media to demonize him.

Sorry, but I need to make this next point, because it’s critical for conservatives to accept. It is very easy for the liberal media to demonize Newt Gingrich. Why? Because HE LOOKS EVIL! Newt, although he might be the nicest man in the world, has a face which (with a little help from the liberal media) will give children nightmares. He is the human incarnation of a character from Underdog - Simon Bar Sinister. Yes, it’s sad but true, looks do matter in a presidential election. But not to worry - Republicans have several MORE conservative candidates than Gingrich running this year.

Okay, back to my Reagan comparison. Another way Romney is similar to Reagan is how he can articulate the conservative message. When you listen to Romney explain and defend his positions on the issues it becomes very apparent he has a deep knowledge and understanding of the issues. For some unknown reason it has been a challenge recently for Republicans to nominate candidates who can speak in complete sentences. Do you remember how George H.W. Bush mangled the English language? Do you remember how George W. Bush mangled the English language? We should be thankful the Democrats nominated two morons when GW ran - Gore and Kerry. Do you remember how John McCain articulated conservatism? No? Neither do I - because he couldn’t. Romney, on the other hand, has a deep grasp of why conservatism is the best political, economic, and moral philosophy - and he does an excellent job defending it. I will concede that Romney isn’t Ronald Reagan when it comes to giving a speech; but, there was only one Ronald Reagan - nobody has ever given better political speeches than Reagan.

So why am I supporting Mitt Romney? Is it because I’m a sell out to the conservative cause? NO! It’s because Mitt Romney is the most articulate Republican running for president. It’s because Mitt Romney is an outsider who has no ties to Washington DC and the Washington DC political establishment. It’s because he’s the MOST conservative and most importantly he will beat Obama - and end this nightmare called the Obama Administration!

Why Romney and NOT Newt...

2011-12-13T11:06:00.003-05:00

Ok, I have discussed the main issues which are important to most conservatives. Now let’s look at each candidate’s position on these issues. I will make this very simple - because it is very simple. There is almost no difference between the candidates on all the important issues - with the exception of Ron Paul.

Supreme Court Justices

All the Republican candidates claim they will appoint judges who interpret the U.S. Constitution. They say they will appoint judges in the mold of Antonin Scalia and John Roberts. In case you don’t realize it - this is great. Scalia and Roberts are great justices who understand their role as Supreme Court justices.

Let me remind all my conservative friends - our current President believes the U.S. Constitution is a “living and breathing” document which changes with the times. He nominates liberals to the Supreme Court who use their vote in an attempt to change our country into a liberal utopia; a country based on liberal ideology which goes against the will and common sense of the people.

The Environment

All the Republican candidates claim they will take a balanced approach to the environment. They will use the county’s resources to meet the needs of our country while protecting the environment. This means drilling for oil where it’s appropriate and allowing for the construction of nuclear power plants where it’s appropriate. Also, they all claim they are against Cap and Trade, the Kyoto Protocol, and all the other left wing, radical, environmental movement programs.

Let me remind all my conservative friends - our current President places the wants and desires of the Environmentalists above the needs of our country.
Case in point, he is threatening to veto legislation which will allow for the construction of a pipe line which will bring oil from Canada to the U.S. The construction of this pipeline will provide us with more oil/gas and it will create REAL jobs. There is no reason why any reasonable man would veto this legislation. So why is he threatening to veto it? He is threatening to veto it because of the Environmental lobby - period.

Military

With the exception of Ron Paul, all the Republicans believe we live in a dangerous world which requires a strong U.S. military. Of course there are some candidates who would use the military more aggressively and others who would use it less aggressively.

War on Terror

With the exception of Ron Paul, all the Republicans believe the War on Terror is being waged against radical Islam and because of this, they will aggressively pursue radical Islamist terrorists. Of course there are some candidates who would go after the Terrorists more aggressively and some who would be less aggressive but they (except for Ron Paul) would continue the policy of killing Terrorists.

The Economy

All the Republicans believe we need lower taxes, less regulation, and a balanced budget. Of course there are some candidates who would more aggressively lower taxes, reduce regulation, and balance the budget - and there are some who would be less aggressive.

Let me remind my conservative friends that the Obama Administration has taken a bad economy and made it worse. He has taken the BAD decisions made by the Bush Administration and said, “I’ll take your 5 bad decisions and I’ll raise you 50 bad decisions!” Obama is the second coming of FDR. FDR took a bad economy and he implemented liberal economic policies which created the Great Depression. Obama took a bad economy and he implemented liberal economic policies which has created the Great Recession.

As a side note, Ronald Reagan took a bad economy and implemented conservative economic policies which created the biggest non-war time boom in the history of man.

So, to summarize, there’s not much difference between the Republican nominees (except for Ron Paul).

I can hear some of my conservative friends saying, “Ken, you’re down playing the difference between...” or “There’s a big difference between...” or “If he’s elected he will...” or “If he’s elected he won’t...” To that I say, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

In my humble opinion, there is not a perfect Republican running. There is not a Ronald Reagan in the current group of Republican candidates - there are GOOD conservatives, very GOOD conservatives - each with their own flaws - like we all have.

But let’s not forget, we have a president who is trying to fundamentally change our country. He has taken all the bad decisions that all the previous presidents have made and he’s stepped on their shoulders and said, “I can top your bad decisions - watch this...” The unemployment rate was bad when he took over - it’s now worse. The deficit was bad when he took over - it’s now worse. The debt was bad when he took over - it’s now worse. Crony Capitalism was bad when he took over - it’s now worse. These - and many, many, many other aspects of our country - are worse now because of his policies (yes, his policies) and if we want our children to live in the greatest country in the world we must defeat Obama!

That must be the objective! That must be the goal! That is what MUST drive our decision when selecting the Republican nominee - WHO CAN BEAT OBAMA?!

I can guarantee you that I’m more conservative than most people, I’m certainly not an elitist, I’m not part of the mainstream media, I’m not part of any good ole boy network, and I’m not a sell out! But - I am for Mitt Romney! Why? Because he will win and Newt will lose!

How can I say this? Because, my fellow conservative, we make up 35% of the electorate, while liberals make up 30% of the electorate. The other 35% don’t watch Fox News, they don’t listen to Rush, they don’t read conservative blogs - they don’t know (and don’t care) about many of the issues we care about. They make their decisions based on the cover of People Magazine at the grocery store check out. They make their decisions based on how people look and sound. We need a conservative candidate who can appeal to conservatives but also to this a-political 35%.

Let me make this clear - Newt Gingrich will lose against Barak Obama. Newt will make you feel great while he’s debating Obama because he will put Obama in his liberal place. He will show Obama for what he is - a condescending liberal! But guess what? As you’re sitting on the couch reveling in the #@$ whooping Gingrich laid on Obama - you will see the polls that ask, “Is Newt Gingrich really the devil?” or “Do you think Newt Gingrich will use the Atomic Bomb?” or “Will Newt Gingrich eat your children?” Who remembers "The Gingrich Who Stole Christmas"?

These questions will be put on People Magazine and Ms Magazine and all of a sudden the a-political 35% will say, “He just looks so mean.” Then Newt will lose the election 51% to 49% and you’ll wonder why these 35% are so stupid.

More to come...

Setting the Stage for Why I'm Supporting Mitt Romney...part two...the issues...

2011-11-28T14:22:00.010-05:00

To understand why I’m supporting Mitt Romney, I will first discuss the issues which are important to me and many of you. I won’t go into a lot of detail, but hopefully it will be enough to make the issues (and my position) clear.

Supreme Court Justices

We need a society where the role of the government is clearly defined. In many cases the elitists overstep their role and the Supreme Court becomes the arbitor. The role of the Supreme Court in making their decisions should be like that of baseball umpires. They should know the rule book (the U.S. Constitution) inside and out and they should make their decisions based on what is written in the rule book. They shouldn’t pick winners and losers and they shouldn’t make up new rules in the middle of the game. Democrats pick justices (umpires) who make up their own rules and pick winners and losers. Republicans usually pick justices who make their decisions based on what the U.S. Constitution says. Keep this in mind. If we elect a Democrat, we can be guaranteed we’ll have more Ruth Bader Ginsbergs, more Sonia Sotomayors, and more Ruth Bader Ginsburgs...if we elect a Republican, we have a chance at having more Antonin Scalias, more Sam Alitos, and more John Roberts.

The Environment

Our country, and its’ people, need to be good stewards of the environment. This means using the environment to benefit people, both now and in the long term. We need to consider the impact of our actions today on the environment of tomorrow. If we elect a Republican we can expect a reasonable balance between the needs of the environment and people - both now and in the future. If we elect a Republican, we have a chance we will drill for more oil and build more power plants here and be less dependent on foreigners. If we elect a Democrat, we can be sure the spotted owl, European Eel, and the Mediterranean Monk Seal will take precedence above humans. If we elect a Democrat, it will be more difficult to drill more oil wells or build more nuclear power plants.

States Rights

We need a president who believes there are limits to his power and the power of the Federal Government. Our government is based on federalism - political power is dispersed to states, counties, cities, and PTA’s. Part of the greatness of our country is the fact that our president (you know, the guy who acts like he's a King, Czar, or Emperor) doesn’t make all our decisions. Our country was based on most of our decisions being made at the state level. Over the past several generations Washington DC and the elitists (aka, our masters) have been taking more and more power away from the states - and the people. If we elect a Democrat, Washington DC (and the elitists) will take more and more power away from the states - and the people. If we elect a Republican, we have a chance that some of the power Washington DC has stolen from the states will be given back to the states. If we elect a Republican, there is a chance that decisions like education, housing, abortion, gun control, the gay agenda, and many, many, many other issues will once again be made where they should be - at the state level.

Foreign Policy

We need a president who is proud of our country and protects the interest of our country. If we elect a Democrat, we can expect more “The U.S. Sucks” tours. If we elect a Republican, we have a chance our countries interests will be protected.

Military

We need a president who understands we live in a dangerous world with dangerous people and because of this we need the strongest military in the world. We need a president who will use the military sparingly and with specific objectives in mind. We need a president who believes it is unacceptable to commit our troupes to places like Afghanistan for 10 years.

We need a president who believes in SMART objectives for our military;

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Relevant
T - Time Sensitive

Here’s a SMART objective, “We will take out the terrorist training camps and the Taliban government in Afghanistan by January 2008."

Here’s a dumb objective, “We are going to turn Afghanistan into a democracy.”

War on Terror

We need a president who understands what terrorism is. It’s militant young Islamist men who want to kill Americans (and others from the west). It’s not little old ladies and young children getting on a plane during Christmas time.

The Economy

THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IS OUR BUDGET - BORROWING $40 FOR EVERY $100’s WE SPEND WILL (AND IS) PUSHING THE UNITED STATES OFF A CLIFF. We need a president who is brave enough to balance the budget - right away. We need a president who is willing to do the following things - plus many others which I won’t get into right now:

1. Social Security and Medicare need to be fixed. The retirement age needs to be increased and only people who are needy should be given money. Also, NO MORE HOVERROUNDS!

2. Federal agencies need to be abolished (YES, ABOLISHED); the Department of Education (this is an oxymoron), the Department of Commerce, and the Department of Energy.

3. Federal Government Regulation passed by the administration should be voted on by congress when it will have a material impact.

Taxes

Taxes need to be reformed with the following ideas in mind:

a. They need to ensure the United States has low corporate taxes to encourage investment at home.

b. Everyone needs to pay taxes so that income tax rates can be low.

c. Rates should be low and deductions should be eliminated.

Immigration

By most estimates we have somewhere around 12 million illegal immigrants in this country - 12 million people who have come into this country without being invited. We need a president who will secure the borders. He should build a fence in some places, fly drones in others, and have military posts in other. He should work with states and localities to help round up illegal immigrants so they can be deported. There shouldn’t be any talk of amnesty. Why should there be? If you’re here illegally you need to get in the back of the line and wait just like everyone else. If we find you while you’re here you will be deported.
Other

I’m done for now...let’s move on to the question at hand...

So why am I supporting Romney?

Coming next...a review of all the Republicans running....

Setting the stage for my support of Romney...

2011-11-25T11:58:00.001-05:00

Our country has been on a long, and sometimes meandering, course towards neo-socialism and Statism since the time of Abraham Lincoln. Sometimes the course has been fast and furious; like during the times of FDR, LBJ, and Obama. Sometimes the course has been slowed to a crawl, like during the times of Coolage and Reagan; but there certainly cannot be any doubt we have been on course toward central control of the economy, and most other meaningful decisions, for a long time.

This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone - all societies, yes - ALL - have a tendency for the self proclaimed elitists to pursue the consolidation of power into their small cliques. All societies - from the literati in Dynastic China, to the Brahmans in Southern Asia, to the Dukes, Earls, and Barons in European Monarchies - have had a relatively small group of people (who arrogantly believe they have a “mandate from Heaven”) rule over the common people.

This historic tendency of elite control over the common people took a short hiatus - ONCE - and only once. The elite’s control over the common people took a short reprieve when OUR country - the United States of America - was created. A piece of paper, called the US Constitution, put controls over the central government. By putting controls over the central/federal government - it put controls on the self proclaimed elites in our society. The US Constitution made clear what the role of the federal government was - AND - (I would argue) more importantly what the federal government couldn’t do.

This piece of paper, The US Constitution, clearly states the Federal Government can’t make rules related to free speech, guns, religion, etc. The most powerful statement in The US Constitution is the 10th Amendment - it states, “The powers not delegated to the United State by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” In other words, the federal government cannot make rules over the lives of individuals - except where the Constitution gives permission.

The 10th Amendment was a thorn in the side of the elites for a long time; but slowly AND surely the elites have used the Constitution to wipe their #$#@ for a long time. They disregard the Constitution and the controls and limits it puts on them!

We are currently in the midst of a fight - a fight between the elites and the commoners. Who are in the elite class? The main stream media; NBC, CBS, and ABC. The professors from the elite universities in the United States; Harvard, Yale, etc. The Board of Directors from the largest companies in the United States; Banks, Investment Firms, etc. And, of course, many politicians. These four groups have a symbiotic relationship - they work closely together to ensure they keep their elite status while they appease the commoners. In order for these elites to maintain their positions they need something - that something is taxes.

The elites need the commoners to send them enough in taxes to do two things - first and foremost - they need enough money to maintain their standard of living. But secondly, they need enough money to “give” benefits back to the commoners. Now, of course, the commoners are worse off - by funneling their money to the elites, the elites taking their cut, and the remaining money going back down to the commoners - the commoners lose and the elites win.

But why don’t the majority of the commoners realize this? Think back to the symbiotic relationship between the media, the universities, big business, and politicians. The politicians tell the commoners they need “shared sacrifice”, aka more taxes. The main stream media (who live off of insider access to the politicians) tells the commoners the politicians are correct - “the only way to survive is with shared sacrifice (more taxes)”. Then the professors (who receive grants/money from the politicians) tell their students - “the only way to survive is with shared sacrifice (more taxes)”. Then, even the “greedy” businessmen (who receive tax breaks from the politicians) tell their people we need “shared sacrifice”. By the way, these are not the owners of small businesses - they are big business who lobby politicians - and secure their position in the market place by putting regulations on their competition.

So, again, why don’t the majority of the commoners realize this? Because everyone they hear from is telling them the same lie. They are told they will be hurt if they don’t give more taxes to the elites. We are living during the “Kings New Clothes” times. The elites are attempting to swindle us - again - by making us believe an obvious lie. Only this time, if we allow it to happen - our children will be the one’s to suffer.

So what is the situation we now find ourselves in - as the elites have taken over more and more power? We are now on a very short trip to disaster.

The elites have put us in a position where almost 50% of American’s don’t pay federal taxes, while more than 50% receive some kind of federal payment. In a “democracy” or more accurately a “republic” is this situation sustainable? No, and that’s why we need a change...so why have I decided to support Mitt Romney?

I'll be voting for Mitt Romney...

2011-11-22T20:34:00.002-05:00

Coming Soon...why I've decided to support and vote for Mitt Romney...

Sheri's Closet - The Final Frontier...

2010-02-13T16:43:00.030-05:00

Sheri's Closet... the Final Frontier...

These are the stories of the husband - Wholikesacleanhouse. His five-year mission: to clean the house; to organize and throw away garbage and old 'never going to be worn again' clothes; to be able to see the floors again and to clean mold and mildew; to boldly clean what no women have cleaned before!

Okay, for those of you who aren't Star Trek fans - that was a take off on the opening of Star Trek...the one with William Shatner.

It was difficult to decide how to open this blog - it was either this or the old Sesame Street song..."One of These Things in Not Like The Other" I was going to change it to "ALL OF THESE SHOES ARE EXACTLY LIKE THE OTHERS!!!" but I opted against this approach...

As most of you know - I'm not a neat freak but I do like things neat and organized. It drives me crazy when stuff is just stuffed in drawers, closets, and rooms (reference the 'Where is "IT" ' blog if you don't understand). It especially drives me crazy when I'm looking for something but I can't find 'it' because someone has shoved 'it' into places they have NO BUSINESS SHOVING 'IT' INTO!!

Also - as everyone knows - I am very concerned about Global Warming! Global Warning is the biggest threat the human race is facing right now and if we don't do something about it - we are DOOMED!

If we don't stop driving our cars, if we don't stop eating beef, if we don't stop using incandescent light bulbs, if we don't take a shower instead of a bath, if we don't use a clothesline instead of a dryer, if we don't stop using plastic bags, if we don't stop using disposable diapers, if we don't stop farting - GLOBAL WARMING WILL CONTINUE TO HEAT THE EARTH AND WE WILL ALL DIE!!!

But do we stop - do we stop using cars, do we stop eating beef, do we change our light bulbs, do we stop farting - NO! We are selfish! SO SELFISH! And because we are all so selfish - GLOBAL WARMING IS GETTING WORSE!

It's gotten so bad 2 or 3 inches of snow fell here in Georgia on Friday. What will it take for us to wake up??? When we will learn that if we don't do what our Liberal friends tell us to do - it will continue to get worse. I'm afraid if we don't make the changes they tell us we need to make the globe will continue to warm and, and, and I'LL HAVE TO BUY A SNOW BLOWER...I for one have made a conscious effort to stop farting...it's been 4 days and counting since I've ripped one off...but then again I don't know how I'm doing at night when I'm sleeping...but Jewel has been sleeping at the bottom of the bed and so that's a good sign...

Well, because of Global Warming and the 2 or 3 inches of snow outside I had to find my snow boots so I could shovel my walkway and driveway.

So that brings me to my current problem - WHERE ARE MY SNOW BOOTS??? I looked everywhere but I can't find them - everywhere - EXCEPT that is - for the GREAT ABYSS - aka Sheri's closet!

It was 10:00am this morning when I ran out of places to look - except for the GREAT ABYSS. I didn't want to look there - I really didn't. I didn't know what would happen to me. I didn't know what I would find. I didn't know if I would make it out alive. I just didn't know. But I didn't have a choice - it was the last place to look.

I have organized every other room in the house and so I was 99.99% confident the only place it could be was Sheri's closet. In the past when the closet was open I thought I saw shoes...and so that gave me even more confidence my boots might be in there...

Again, I started at 10:00...I put on some safety gear and in I went. I told the kids, "If I'm not out in 1 hour call the police..."

Her closet is filled, stuffed, packed, shoved, crammed full of...of...of...everything you can name. Yes, there are clothes but there is SO MUCH MORE! There are...there are...oh nevermind - there is just too much stuff to mention! Wait, other than the clothes and all this other stuff I don't want to mention...THERE ARE SHOES!!! OH MY GOSH!!!! THERE ARE SHOES PILED ON TOP OF SHOES!!! I THINK THE SHOES MUST BE MATING IN HER CLOSET BECAUSE THERE ARE A MILLION OF THEM AND THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!!!! There are SOOOO many shoes I had to pile them up outside the closet in order to try and find my boots. Then I decided to try to organize them and so I lined them up. I thought I would put the sneakers, high heels, open toed shoes, open heeled shoes, flip flops, slip ons, slingbacks, pumps, sandals, etc, etc, etc, (and I do mean ETC, ETC, ETC!) in order and I'd neatly put them back in the closet...

By the time I finished looking for my boots (which I didn't find) I realized I could never put these shoes neatly back into the closet...there were just too many of them!

Keep in mind, this is a walk in closet...BUT...it's not huge...it's a regular size walk in closet...in a minute you'll understand why I mention this...

The closet is in the master bathroom...below is the line of shoes coming out of the bathroom(notice the similarity of the sneakers)...

From the bathroom the single files of shoes ran through the bedroom...

The line of shoes went from the bedroom...down the steps...

Notice how different these shoes look - NOT!!! They all look the same!!!! I've said this before and I've been told I'm wrong by women...but I'm not wrong...GUYS DON'T CARE ABOUT SHOES...WE DON'T LOOK AT YOUR FEET...SORRY...BUT IT'S TRUE!!!!!

Here they go down the steps...

Here they are lined up in the loft...more sneakers that look the same...I have a question for all the women out there...DON'T WOMEN HAVE TWO FEET JUST LIKE MEN OR DO THEY HAVE LIKE 50 FEET WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT????

Here they are making a turn through the office...

Okay...I'm having flashbacks to 26 tubes of toothpaste and 17 blow dryers...yes, look below...yes, they are all flip flops... Question: How many different styles do flip flops come in? Answer: ONE!!!!!! Next question: How many flip flops do you see in the picture below? Answer: 10!!!!!!!!!! Yes - 10!!!!!

Oh wait...I'm sorry...these flip flops are different...look...one is light blue...one is dark blue...one is a little darker blue...another one is slightly lighter than the dark blue but slightly darker than the light blue...OH, wait...there are black flips flops...and there are really black flip flops...and there are a pair of not as black, but still kind of black flip flops...I stand corrected...NOT!!! THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!!

In case you are wondering - I have no idea what I'm going to do with these shoes - I really don't. Although I do know they are not getting put back into the GREAT ABYSS! They will stay right were they are until I decide...

Blog Update:

I was watching my morning Political Shows today (February 14th) and a commercial came on which might solve my problem...I ordered 25 of them...but now I have to buy 7 new beds...

Where is "IT"?

2010-01-17T15:56:00.028-05:00

Where is “IT”?

As you know I was home by myself while my family was in Coal Valley, Illinois after Christmas. As you don’t know, when I am home by myself I sometimes shave in bed while I watch the morning news...I know...too much information...but it's important to the story - stick with me. By the way, I use an electric shaver and so it's not like I have shaving cream all over my pillows when I'm done. Another thing you know is on New Year's Eve I was home alone. But what you didn’t know is the cleaning lady came over to clean my house on New Year’s Eve.

Another thing you know is I left the house on New Year’s Eve to buy a ping pong table (see previous post) but you didn’t know that while I was at The Sports Authority the cleaning lady cleaned the house.

You also didn’t know that when I woke up on Monday, January 4th to go to work I reached for my electric shaver – AND IT WAS GONE! I looked in the bathroom, I looked on my night stand, I looked on the floor next to and under my bed but it was nowhere to be found - MY ELECTRIC SHAVER WAS GONE! Although I was frustrated I couldn't find it - I wasn't too worried - I just grabbed one of the plastic Walgreen's razors under the sink and I shaved. After I ripped the outer layer of skin off my face I drove to work - with several bloody squares of toilet paper stuck all over my face.

Over the next couple of weeks the question of the whereabouts of my razor was constantly lingering in the back of my mind. You know what I mean. My mind was quietly asking, "Where is it? Where did I leave it? Did I drop it behind my bed? Did I bring it downstairs with me? Did I bring it to work with me? Did I leave it at my In-Laws?" As I listened to the little voice in my head ask me these questions my mind started answering with little pictures. I could see my shaver in the bathroom, I could see it on my night stand, I could see it next to my recliner, I could see it under the bathroom sink, I could see it under my bed, I could see it everywhere. The voices and visions in my head were always the strongest on my way home from work - and so when I got home I ignored everyone as I walked straight to the recliner, to the bed, to the sink, and to the millions of other places I could "see" my shaver. But no matter how many voices or how many visions I had - none of them helped me to find my shaver!

The little voice in my head never blamed anyone else for losing my shaver – it only asked what “I’ did with “it”. After all, I was the only one in my house when the shaver was lost – OR WAS I? No, I wasn’t! The cleaning lady - aka Jane “Sticky Fingers” Doe was also in my house! By the way, I’ve changed her name in case she reads my blog. The last time I shaved with my electric shaver was the morning of New Year’s Eve – the next time I looked for my shaver – it was gone! Sticky Fingers was in my house the same day I lost my shaver – a coincidence – I THINK NOT!!!

But far be it from me to blame someone else when something of mine is lost! At least not until I was sure it was no longer in my house. To be sure it wasn’t in my house I decided to tear my house apart searching for my shaver…AND I DO MEAN TEAR MY HOUSE APART!!

But before I go there - I need to backup a little. You need to know a few things I recently learned about having a cleaning lady. I've learned that the night before the cleaning lady comes...the house needs to be cleaned - yes, I know - it doesn't make sense to me either. But actually we don't really clean it - we 'straighten it up". We "straighten up" the kitchen, the living room, the bedrooms, etc. To "straighten up" - we "put things away". You know how everyone has one of those "Junk Drawers" in the kitchen. Well, when you "straighten up" and "put things away" for the cleaning lady - the "Junk Drawer" grows into a "Junk Closet" and before you know it the “Junk Drawer” grows into a “Junk Room" – and like a “Junk Drawer” - EVERYTHING GETS SHOVED INTO IT!

Another thing you need to know (and something I learned on New Year's Eve) is - if I don't "put things away" the cleaning lady will! Don't get me wrong – before the cleaning lady got to my house - I "straightened up" and I "put things away" but there were a few items "left out" when I left. However, when I got home, she had "straightened up" and everything was "put away"!!

But, again, before I blamed anyone else for losing my stuff – I needed to make sure it wasn’t in my house.

I was no longer going to casually check here or check there – I was going to tear the house apart! I took the same approach Bill Murrey took when he tried to find the gopher in Caddy Shack. I tore apart the kitchen, the living room, the family room, every room where the cleaning lady might have put it!!! I didn’t mean that – I meant, ‘I tore apart every room…where I might I left my shaver…”

I didn’t find my shaver in the kitchen, living room, or family room. It was 10:00pm by the time I moved onto my bathroom. Again, I TORE IT APART - I pulled everything out of the cabinets and the closet. No stone was going to be left unturned in my search for my shaver. I didn't mention this earlier but after I tore the rooms apart I re-organized them and put them back together in better shape then I found them (I threw that in there in case you think I left my house in a shambles). My plan was the same for my bathroom...but in the search for my shaver I came across some things I didn't expect - like my bathroom cabinets being used as one of the "Junk Rooms"…

This is a picture of my bathroom AFTER I started re-organizing…it looked A LOT WORSE a few minutes before I took this picture…

During my re-organizing I was surprised with what I found…I found that when you shove things in drawers, closets, and rooms before the cleaning lady comes over you sometimes forget where you put them.

I found that we sometimes purchase things we’re “out of” because we forgot where we put them in a rush to “straighten up” and “put things away” for the cleaning lady…

I found we have 6 blow dryers...yes 6!!! That's 1 blow dryer for every 10 strands of hair on my head!!!

I also found we have 26 tubes of toothpaste! Did I stutter???? I said 26!!!

I didn't take pictures of them (because this is a family blog) but I also found 447, yes 447, super-absorbent, scented, unscented, light days, heavy days, wings, no-wings, mini, maxi, gentle glide, fresh & dry, etc., etc., feminine hygiene products under my bathroom sink!!! Yes, we only have 2 woman in my house. I’m sure we have a supply of feminine hygiene products which will cover at least 85 menstrual cycles – but don’t quote me on that. All I know is I don’t have to worry anymore about making midnight runs to Walgreen’s for an ‘emergency’. There is so much absorbency in my bathroom – (you finish this joke…I can’t)

So yes, I found a life time supply of toothpaste and femanine hygeine products but I DIDN'T FIND MY SHAVER!!! But as you can see – I did re-organize my bathroom…

Since I couldn’t find my shaver I decided to go out to buy and new one. I priced a few good shavers, like the one I had, and they cost $89!

Since shavers are so expensive I decided to buy a good razor – I’ve seen the commercials for Mach I, Mach II, Mach III, and Mach IV razors and so instead of buying an expensive shaver I decided to buy a reasonably priced Mach I, II, III or IV razor - NOT!

I walked over to the razors and I noticed they are locked up - like diamonds!!! When I got in front of them I saw why they are locked up! Mach III DISPOSABLE razors cost $49 FOR A PACK OF 10!!!

There is no way I'm going to spend $49 for razors...so I decided to lean over to pickup a big plastic bag of cheap disposable razors. Since I am shaving with these cheap plastic razors I walked to the next isle to buy a 24 pack of toilet paper for my face.

So now I drive to work in the morning with little squares of bloody toilet paper stuck all over my face while on my drive home that little voice in my head (which is no longer quiet) screams in my head, "Where did the $%%^&&* cleaning lady put my @#$%^ shaver…where did the #$%^&** cleaning lady put my ##$%^^&& razor!!!!!”

WE HAVE LOST OUR #$%^ MINDS!!!

2010-01-09T12:54:00.021-05:00

Our country is out of control! From the highest to the lowest levels of government - WE HAVE LOST OUR MINDS!!!

At airports, we spend the same amount of time screening 85 year old grandmothers and 11 year old little girls as we do screening 25 year old men named Mohammed from the middle east. We have lost our $%$%^^ minds?!!!

In congress, politicians pass an 1,100 page "healthcare reform" bill without reading it!!! We have lost our #$%^& minds?!!!

In congress politicians are allowed to bribe and be bribed - without being thrown in jail!!! We have lost our #$%^ minds?!!!

Our president flew to Copenhagen, along with thousands of other governmental bureaucrats from every country in the world, to solve Global Warming. They filled the air with millions of tons of carbon flying to a meeting to discuss how to limit carbon. It's like having a keg party to figure out how to solve alcoholism!!! We have lost our ##^^&&& minds?!!!

One of the "solutions" to global warming is for the "rich countries" to give the "poor countries" BILLIONS of dollars!!! I have a better idea. How about everyone gives me a billion dollars and I'll solve world hunger - I'll even solve world ignorance at no additional charge. We have lost our %^&*( minds?!!!

AS I TYPE THESE SENTENCES ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING IT IS 11 DEGREES OUTSIDE - YES I SAID ELEVEN DEGREES - IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING - I LIVE IN GEORGIA!!!! We have lost our $%^&* minds?!!!

Our Attorney General, Eric Holder, will try a war criminal, Khalid Sheikh Mohhammed, in a US court. This 911 mastermind will get the same justice we reserved for OJ Simpson!! We have lost our $%$%^^& minds?!!!

Our government prosecuted two border patrol agents for shooting a drug smuggler who was trying to cross over our border ILLEGALLY! We have lost our $$%%^& minds?!!! Thankfully, George Bush commuted their sentences in January.

Our government is prosecuting three Navy Seals for "mishandling" Ahmed Hashim Abed when he was captured. Ahmed was the mastermind behind the ambush of four American workers in Iraq in 2004. This ambush resulted in these four Americans being KILLED, MUTILATED, and being HUNG on a bridge. In other words, our government is prosecuting Navy Seals for not being nice enough to these murdering animals! We have lost our #$%%^& minds!!

Our US Senators and Representatives can vote themselves raises while our unemployment rate is 10% - 17%. Our US Senators and Representatives can vote themselves healthcare insurance and pensions while our unemployment rate is 10%-17%. We have lost our #$%^& minds?!!!

All this insanity and more can be seen if you watch the news on a daily basis but today I experienced my own INSANITY!!

Sheri and Kelsie are in South Carolina this weekend for one of Kelsie's horse shows and Cameron slept over his friend's house. So I was home by myself last night and this morning.

On Saturday Kelsie, Cameron, and I normally go to McDonalds. Even though they weren't here I decided to go. As I mention above it was 11 degrees this morning and so I put on my heavy coat and I drove to McDonalds.

I drive the back roads to McDonalds to avoid the traffic on Route 20. I drove down Haw Creek Road and I crossed over 400 by driving down Old Atlanta Road. The picture below is Old Atlanta Road - there is rarely a car on this road - a perfect place for a cop to park and look for criminals IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO WASTE TAX PAYER'S MONEY!!!

After I crossed over 400 there is a "Park and Ride" parking lot. Parked right there was a police car.

After I passed him by he pulled out of the parking lot. Of course I wondered to myself if he was coming after me. I looked down at my speedometer and I was going about 37 mph and the speed limit was either 35 mph or 40 so I was sure he wasn't coming after me.

The patrol car kept following me even though I was sure he wasn't 'following' me - you know what I mean. He followed me as I past by THE DOZENS OF ILLEGAL ALIENS THAT LINE ATLANTA HIGHWAY. THESE ILLEGAL ALIENS STAND IN PARKING LOTS WAITING TO BE HIRED BY PEOPLE TO DO MANUAL LABOR - LIKE RAKING LEAVES, MOWING LAWNS, ETC. He then moved over to the other lane as we passed by the dozens of ILLEGAL ALIENS THAT LINE ATLANTA HIGHWAY WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO STOP BY AND OFFER THEM SOME WORK. I thought for sure he was going to pull in the parking lot WHERE THESE DOZENS OF ILLEGAL ALIENS WERE STANDING SO HE COULD ARREST THEM OR AT LEAST DISPERSE THEM.

Instead of arresting the ILLEGAL ALIENS he moved back into my lane and put his lights on and motioned for me to pull over.

I thought to myself 'I must have a brake light out or maybe he was going to give me a ticket for going 37 mph in a 35 mph zone.

But NO! He was giving me a TICKET FOR NOT HAVING A SEAT BELT ON!!

HAVE WE LOST OUR #$%^& MINDS?!!!! We have ILLEGAL ALIENS STANDING ON THE ROAD - DOZENS OF THEM. EVERYONE KNOWS THEY ARE ILLEGAL - EVERYONE KNOWS THEY WORK FOR CASH - EVERYONE KNOWS THEY DON'T PAY FEDERAL TAXES - EVERYONE KNOWS THEY DON'T PAY STATE TAXES - EVERYONE KNOWS THEY TAKE WORK AWAY FROM UNEMPLOYED LEGAL CITIZENS - EVERYONE KNOWS THIS - EVERYONE!!!

I WAS MAD!! VERY MAD!! I AM STILL VERY MAD!!! THE #$%^& NUTS ARE RUNNING THE NUT HOUSE!!!!

THE GOVERNMENT I PAY A LOT OF TAXES TO AND I DO MEAN A LOT - GAVE ME A TICKET FOR NOT HAVING A SEAT BELT ON - WHILE PASSING BY DOZENS OF PEOPLE WHO BREAK THE LAW EVERYDAY - AND, AND, AND DON'T PAY TAXES!!!!

I AM NORMALLY VERY RESPECTFUL TO POLICE OFFICERS BUT I COULDN'T BE RESPECTFUL TO OFFICER DSJ HIATT. YES, DSJ HIATT! At first I asked, 'Yes Officer did I do something wrong?' One thing led to another and I said, "DO YOU SEE THOSE PEOPLE OVER THERE? THEY ARE ALL ILLEGAL AND YOU'RE STOPPING ME FOR NOT HAVING A SEAT BELT ON!! He was a young man and not prepared for this. He said, "Yes, I know they are illegal but when we arrest them they are on the street the next day." We had some other words and I did go further than I normally would with a police officer but, honestly, I didn't care if I was arrested - this was insane!!!!

Our government, at all levels, is OUT OF #$%^& CONTROL!!! HAS COMMON SENSE BECOME ILLEGAL????

Instead of the police parking on an empty street to find someone allegedly not wearing a seat belt - wouldn't it make more sense to park next to the ILLEGAL ALIENS so that people won't hire them and they will be forced to go back to Mexico? Wouldn't that make sense? Wouldn't it?

I will be writing a scathing letter to everyone I can think of.

THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY LEGALLY, THE PEOPLE WHO PAY TAXES, THE PEOPLE WHO SPEND THEIR TIME LIVING THEIR LIVES AND DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO WASHINGTON DC, THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO CITY HALL, THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO THE STATE CAPITAL, THE PEOPLE WHO PAY FOR THE NUTS TO RUN THE NUT HOUSE NEED TO STOP TAKING THIS CRAP!!!

THE SENSIBLE PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY NEED TO TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK. WE NEED TO STOP ACCEPTING THESE ASININE LAWS, RULES, AND DECISIONS THESE #$%^& MORONS INFLICT ON US. WE NEED TO STOP LIVING LIKE WE'VE ALL HAD A LOBOTOMY AND WE NEED TO LET COMMON SENSE TAKE OVER THIS COUNTRY AGAIN. IF I HAD NEIGHBORS LIKE NANCY PELOZI, HARRY REID, JOHN CONYERS, HENRY WAXMAN, CHRISTOPHER TODD, MAXINE WATERS, ROB EMANUEL, AND DAVID AXELROD - I WOULD MOVE OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD! BUT THESE #$%^& MORONS RUN OUR COUNTRY, THEY TELL US WHAT TO DO, AND THEY ROB US BLIND!!! WE HAVE LOST OUR #$%^& MINDS!!!!

We need to tell our government - STOP CHECKING GRANDMA AT THE AIRPORT - CHECK MOHAMMED AND THEN CHECK HIM AGAIN - I'M SORRY MOHAMMED - GRANDMA DIDN'T BLOW UP THE TWIN TOWERS - YOU DID!! NOT EVERY MUSLIM IS A TERRORIST BUT TERRORISTS ARE ALL MUSLIM!!!! Alright ONLY 99.9% OF THEM ARE - THIS IS FOR YOU MORONS WHO THINK I'M WRONG - THE .1% TAKES INTO ACCOUNT TIMOTHY McVEIGH!!!

We need to tell our government - IF YOU DON'T READ THE BILL - YOU CAN'T VOTE ON THE BILL!!! IN FACT THEY NEED TO PASS A TEST TO PROVE THEY KNOW WHAT'S IN THE BILL BEFORE THEY VOTE ON IT - I'LL EVEN ALLOW IT TO BE AN OPEN BOOK TEST!!!!

We need to tell our government - IF BRIBERY IS ILLEGAL FOR ME - IT'S ILLEGAL FOR YOU!! GIVING NEBRASKA A PASS ON MEDICARE OR IS IT MEDICAID PAYMENTS IN ORDER TO BRIBE BEN NELSON TO VOTE YES ON THE HEALTHCARE BILL IS OUTRAGEOUS AND NOT ONLY SHOULD THAT BE ILLEGAL - HE SHOULD BE PUT IN PRISON!!

We need to tell our government - LET'S TALK ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING WHEN I STOP FREEZING MY #$%^& OFF!!!! THESE MORONS TAKE US FOR MORONS - GLOBAL WARMING IS NOTHING MORE THAN AN EXCUSE TO TAKE MORE OF OUR MONEY - THE THOUGHT THAT WE CAN ALTER THE EARTH'S TEMPERATURE IS AS STUPID AS THINKING WE CAN EMPTY THE PACIFIC OCEAN WITH A SPOON!!!!

We need to tell our government - DON'T YOU DARE TAKE MY TAX MONEY AND GIVE IT TO THE UN TO SOLVE GLOBAL WARMING!!

We need to tell Eric Holder - Khalid Sheik Mohammed DOESN'T DESERVE THE SAME CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS AS AN AMERICAN - HE IS A #$%^& WAR CRIMINAL!!!!

We need to tell our government - IT'S OK TO SHOOT ILLEGAL ALIENS INVADING OUR COUNTRY WITH DRUGS. IF THEY ARE SHOT CROSSING THE BORDER - GUESS WHAT - THEY'LL STOP CROSSING!!!!!

We need to tell our government - IF A NAVY SEAL FINDS TERRORISTS WHO HAVE KILLED AMERICANS - THEY ARE NOT ONLY ALLOWED TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM - THEY SHOULD RECEIVE A METAL FOR DOING IT!!!

We need to tell our government - YOU WORK FOR US - WE'LL DECIDE WHEN AND IF YOU GET A RAISE!!! BY THE WAY, NO HEALTHCARE OR PENSION FOR YOU - IF YOU WANT IT - YOU NEED TO PAY FOR IT!!!

FINALLY, WE NEED TO TELL OUR GOVERNMENT - GET YOUR @@##%^ PRIORITIES IN ORDER - GET RID OF ILLEGAL ALIENS BEFORE YOU TELL THE POLICE TO CHECK FOR SEAT BELTS!!!

THIS COUNTRY IS BEING RUN BY MORONS AT EVERY LEVEL AND I'M SICK OF IT. I'M SICK OF PRETENDING WE'RE A GREAT COUNTRY. WE'RE NOT A GREAT COUNTRY ANYMORE!! GREAT COUNTRIES DON'T DO THE THINGS WE DO. COUNTRIES IN DECLINE DO THE THINGS OUR COUNTRY IS DOING!! WE ARE FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF EGYPT, GREECE, ROME, CHINA, FRANCE, GERMANY, ETC...

WE CAN BE GREAT AGAIN BUT ONLY WHEN WE PURGE OUR COUNTRY OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AND LIBERALISM!!! WE NEED TO REINSTILL INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY AND SELF RELIANCE!! WE NEED TO STOP RELYING ON GOVERNMENT FOR OUR BASIC NEEDS - WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES. BUT MOSTLY WE HAVE TO GET RID OF THE PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO BE TAKING CARE OF US - THEY HAVE ALREADY SUCKED THE GREATNESS OUT OF US - THESE LEECHES WON'T STOP UNTIL THEY SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF US!! OUR COUNTRY HAS REACHED THE POINT WERE (LIKE THE OLD SAYING GOES) - WE HAVE BECOME SO OPEN MINDED - OUR BRAINS HAVE FALLEN OUT.

BUT IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT - IT'S NOT THE LIBERALS FAULT - IT'S YOUR FAULT - IT'S MY FAULT -WE ALLOWED THESE MORONS TO TAKE OVER WHILE WE'VE BEEN BUSY WORKING, LIVING, AND BUSY PAYING OUR TAXES!!

ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY, REALLY TICKS ME OFF!!!! BY THE TIME I WAS ABLE TO GO TO MCDONALDS - BREAKFAST WAS OVER!!!!

Happy New Year!!

2010-01-01T13:31:00.013-05:00

As you know I've been home by myself since Monday. We had a very nice Christmas at my In-Laws in the Quad Cities (I'm sure you've heard of the Quad Cities). The food was great and so was the company.

One of the things I look forward to every year is giving and receiving gifts. Of course I usually have an idea of some of the presents I'll receive but there is always that one unexpected gift that makes Christmas just a little bit more special. That's always my favorite gift - the one I didn't expect! This year I received some beautiful gifts and yes I also received the surprise, unexpected gift! It was one of those 'Secret Santa' gifts - you know, one of those gifts where you don't know who gave it to you! But unlike the typical Secret Santa gift, it's funny, nobody admitted that they gave me the gift (now I know how Anthony Mastacholli felt when I gave him the Fingerling Action Figure - but that's a whole other story).

I wondered why nobody owned up to giving me this gift but that's okay - I'm sure I figured it out!

The first clue that helped me to figure out who gave this present to me was when XXXXX came downstairs and said, "I don't feel good..." My next clue was when XXXXX's youngest daughter squirted a gieser of yellow diara up her back, right through her onesie! This yellow diarea was very similar to the yellow diarea I enjoyed the following day! My final clue was when XXXXX's sister said, "Oh XXX (XXXXX's wife) was puking her brains out last week - again puking my brains out was also a part of the gift I received!"

So, yes, I figured it out - I know XXXXX gave me this present - although I think it was actually from his whole family!! XXXXX was so generous this year! In fact, he was so generous he not only gave the gift to me, no, HE GAVE IT TO EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY!!!! :)

I have to admit I feel bad that I didn't give him a similar gift but I can guarantee you I really, really want to!! :)

Because of our experience this past week in Coal Valley, Ill Kelsie and I came up with some ideas for an unofficial nickname for Illinois. Here is a sample of some of our ideas:

1. Illinois - The Show Me - How to Toss Your Cookies State
2. Illinois - The What Happens in Illinois Doesn't Stay Down in Illinois State
3. Illinois - A Beautiful Place to Live, Squirt, and Barf!
4. Illinois - The Sooner or Later You're Going to Puke State
5. Illinois - The Incontinence State
6. Illinois - The Live Free or Die Puking State
7. Illinois - The There's Not a Better Place To Be On Your Knees, Hugging Your Toilet State
8. Illinois - The Life is Good - Then You Puke State
9. Illinois - The Vomiting - It's Why You're Here State
10. Illinois - It's not for Just Hurling Anymore
11. Illinois - The Guess Which End It's Coming Out State
12. Illinois - The Chunk Blowing State
13. Illinois - The Irritable Bowel Syndrome State

Alright, onto another subject...my In-Laws have a ping-pong table at their house and my kids love playing (they always lose to me but that's another story) so I decided to purchase one more gift...a Ping Pong Table.

It started out so simple...one big, heavy box...how hard can it be to put together a Ping Pong Table...I mean really...how many parts can it have...it's a stinking table!

It started out easy enough. I borrowed my neighbors pickup truck and bought the table from the Sports Authority. When I got it home I pushed the 150 pound box from the back of the truck bed onto my garage floor...

When I opened the box I realized my job was going to be more involved than just unfolding the table. I guess I'm silly but I assumed I would be able to unfold the ping pong TABLE like one of those little card tables we all have...

Once I realized it would be more involved I organized all the big parts...

And then I organized all the little parts...

Oh, by the way, I started this project at 5:45 pm...

Of course I had to break out all the man tools to make the job easy...I got my friendly hammer, screw driver, knife, duct tape, spatula, mixer, and chain saw - Semper Paratus - "Always Prepared"

See...that didn't take long...

I'm getting close...

See...that didn't take long...

I'm done! After putting this together I'm looking forward to doing something a lot simpler...like performing brain surgery...splitting an atom...or figuring out how Obama healthcare reform is a good idea...

The only problem I couldn't overcome was HOW TO TURN THE STINKING TABLE OVER ONCE I PUT IT TOGETHER!!!! And so I decided to call my neighbor to ask for help...I'm sure this is exactly what he wanted to do at 10:30pm on New Years Eve...

But it worked out...after he came over I crashed his party (actually I was invited believe it or not). I welcomed in the new year with several of my neighbor friends! They really are very nice and I had a great time...we scheduled our next man day (stage 5 rapids this time)...

The next morning I cleaned the garage and put the finishing touches on the Ping Pong table...looks pretty good if I do say so myself... :)

This is a surprise for Kelsie and Cameron...I'm looking forward to seeing their faces when we open the garage...I'm also looking forward to seeing their faces when I whoop them at ping pong...again...and again...and again...

Happy New Year!!!

The SPC...

2009-12-23T22:32:00.002-05:00

From left to right: Keren, me, Brandon, Anthony, David, and Aristotle...

First Day of School - By Cameron James Richard Philip Hand

2009-11-21T15:19:00.009-05:00

First Day of School

By Cameron James Richard Philip Hand

I was in sixth grade when my dad told me the story about his school years; it was October or November, I’m not exactly sure, but I do know it was early in the school year. I had gotten a few low test scores and then a couple of my teachers claimed I was “acting up” in class. Oh yea, one more thing, my school bus driver called my mother and without any proof he told my mother I yelled, “Who farted?” on the way home from school. Based on the way my mother reacted to the news of my minor, youthful indiscretions you would have thought I had been arrested for armed robbery. I tried to explain to her it was “no big deal”; but did she agree, did she understand? NO, she blew the whole thing out of proportion! When my dad got home from work that night she told him EVERYTHING!

When he pulled into the driveway my mother sent me to my room. She said, “Cameron go to your room, I need to talk to your father.” From my room I tried to listen but they talked quietly and the TV was on; all I think I heard was an occasional, “Ken, you need to do something!” A short while later my dad called me and asked me to come downstairs; I took a deep breath, opened my door, and walked down the steps to the family room where my parents were still sitting on the couch. My mom got up and left the room; my dad looked at me and said in a calm, clear voice, “Cam, come here and sit down”. At first I didn’t sit down, I just moved closer to my dad and leaned against the arm of the couch. He looked at me, raised his left eyebrow and sternly said, “Cam, sit down on this couch - NOW.” I quickly sat down next to him. We didn’t talk for long - actually we didn’t talk at all – he did all the talking. My dad said he expects me to “behave” on the bus and especially in school; he went on to tell me how proud he is of me and how he knows if I focus on school I could be a straight-A student. He also promised to help me with Math and Social Studies to get me there. Although I wasn’t sure I could be a straight-A student I decided my best course of action was to nod my head in agreement and say, “Yes sir” often.

Surprisingly, for the next several weeks life was good; my dad helped me study, I got several good grades, I even got a few 100’s - I was a model student! Since I was consistently getting good grades I told my dad, “Thanks, but I don’t need anymore help – I can do it on my own.” My dad told me he was proud of the way I’d turned around my grades and that if I wanted to do it on my own - that was fine with him. He added, “If you need any help Cam - just let me know.”

For the next several weeks I continued to study hard on my own and the grades I received were still high B’s and A’s. Unfortunately, as the school year dragged on I began to spend less and less time and effort studying and I began to spend more and more time having fun with my friends both on the bus and in school. It wasn’t long before my grades started reflecting my efforts. One day I received two tests back; I got a 54% on a Math test and a 72% on a Social Studies test. To make matters worse that day, I had a run-in with the substitute bus driver on the way home. I think the regular driver must have “warned” her about me because she had it out for me from the time I stepped on the bus. All I did was turn around in my seat and talk to some of my friends. She yelled at me to turn around and sit down – I did what she told me to do but that wasn’t enough for her. She yelled at me, “Don’t roll your eyes at me!” I didn’t roll my eyes at her – I told her, “I don’t even know how to roll my eyes.” She then said, “Don’t talk back to me!” Our conversation went downhill from there – I won’t bore you with the details.

These little indiscretions might have gone unnoticed except for some ill-timed bad luck: (1) I left my book bag open on the kitchen counter, (2) My math test (with the 54% on the top right corner) was sticking out of my book bag, (3) My dad took the day off, (4) and the substitute bus driver called my house to complain about me “acting up on the bus”.

When I got home from school I saw my dad sitting in his chair watching the News on television and I asked him what he was doing home so early. He said he decided to take the day off to take care of a few errands. I put my book bag down, sat down on the couch, and asked my dad if I could put on UFC to watch “Liddell vs. Silva”. He said sure and he got up to get something from the kitchen.

It’s was at this point it all fell apart for me. As my dad was making a sandwich on the counter he noticed my math test, then he opened my book bag and found my social studies test. Before he had a chance to say anything to me the phone rang and I heard him say, “Yes, I am Cameron’s father…substitute bus driver…he did what…I apologize…I will take care of it.” When I looked at him I could see he was upset. I won’t go into the details of what happened next but let me say my calm, cool father, who rarely loses his temper with me – lost his temper with me! He sat down next to me on the couch, he was breathing heavy, his forehead was all wrinkled, and his eyebrows were scrunched together. He started talking; he said a lot to me, something about “knowing I can get good grades”, something about “helping me again”, something about “being proud of me”, but the words I remember most were, “no more cell phone”, “no more Face Book”, “no more TV until homework is done”, he might as well have said, “NO MORE FUN!”

At the time I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me because of a couple of low grades and a complaint from a substitute bus driver. I was upset and without thinking I blurted out, “I tried, I really tried, but I’m not perfect! I’m sorry I’m not as good at school as you were. I bet you were a straight-A student and you think it’s easy!”

After I said this my dad had a baffled look on his face. He said, “You think I was a straight-A student when I went to school?” I told him, “Of course, you’re really smart - you know everything. You get all the questions right on Jeopardy and you always know how to do my homework.”

My dad said, “I’m glad you think I’m smart, and you're right I do get most of the answers right on Jeopardy, but it’s not because school was easy for me. Whatever I know didn’t come easy for me – I had to work very hard to learn the things I know. When I was your age, and when I was Kelsie’s age I made a lot of mistakes which made my life a lot harder than it needed to be. You don't know this but I actually dropped out of high school when I was very young. I don’t want to put too much pressure on you and I certainly don’t want to live my life through you but I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made when I was your age. You are much smarter than I was at your age; you’ve proven that if you put in some reasonable effort into your studies you can be a straight-A student. But just to let you know, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this to you, if you put in the study time and the effort and you don’t get all A’s I’m okay with that. As long as you try your best, as long as you put in a reasonable amount of study time, as long as you behave yourself in school you won’t hear me complain and you certainly won’t be punished.”

I asked him if I do that can I have my phone back and can I use Face Book. He told me, “Yes, but you’ll have to prove to me you are serious about it.” He wouldn’t tell me how long I had to show him I was serious; he just said, “Cam, just focus on school and your behavior. Don’t worry about the phone or Face Book and I’m sure you’ll get them back before you know it.”

Even though I wasn’t happy with my punishment I felt a little better after he said I’ll get my stuff back before I know it. I felt better but I was also curious – curious about my dad and school. I never knew my dad was a high school drop out and I couldn’t believe he wasn’t a straight-A student. I asked him if he could tell me what kind of student he was when he was my age. This seemed to lighten the mood in the living room a bit, he smiled at me and said, “Are you sure you want to know the whole sordid details of my school years?” I wasn’t sure what sordid meant but I did want to hear about his school years and so I said, “Yea.”

It was at this time Kelsie came home. I told Kelsie, “Dad is about to tell me a story about him and school.” Kelsie didn’t act too interested – she sat down on the recliner and said, “Oh, okay”, and then changed the channel on the television to Hannah Montana.

My dad started out, he said in a loud voice, “Alright, I guess Kelsie doesn’t want to hear about the deepest, darkest secrets of my life. The stories I’ve always planned on keeping hidden from you kids! That’s okay, it’s probably better that she doesn’t know about my SORDID past – are you ready to hear about my SORDID past Cam?”

Kelsie pretended to yawn as if she wasn’t really paying attention and I said, ‘Yea dad. I want to hear about it!’ My dad said, “Alright you’ve asked for it CAM – YOU, NOT KELSIE are about to hear the DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRETS OF MY LIFE! You’re about to hear about the time when I turned from a nice, innocent, wholesome boy - to a wild, untamed, rebel without a cause!!”

Kelsie chimed in, “Dad, YOU, a rebel without a cause? I don’t exactly know what that is but I’m sure you weren’t one!”

My dad looked at Kelsie through the corner of his eye and he began, “It happened on the first day of kindergarten…”

Kelsie sat up in her chair and laughed, “Kindergarten dad! Kindergarten! You became a rebel without a cause while you were in kindergarten! That’s hilarious. How can a person become wild and untamed in kindergarten? I guess I should listen to this story because I’m interested to find out how a five year old becomes a ‘rebel without a cause’.”

My dad smiled and said, “Well missy, if you turn off Hannah Montana and pay attention you’ll find out. After my story is over you tell me if I became untamed in kindergarten. Now, will you let me finish the story?

Alright, where was I. Oh yea. Wait; let me backup a little bit to the time before I attended kindergarten. When I was four or five years old, I was so nice and innocent; I’d go along to get along. My mother said I was an independent, self sufficient child – and just as sweet as could be – until the day I CHANGED! I have to be honest, as a pre-school young man I was naïve, I saw the world threw rose colored glasses. I thought life consisted of cereal, Sesame Street, Cartoons, Soap Operas, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My privileged, patrician upbringing insulated me from the cold hard reality of the world but, as every four or five year old knows, this elite life style has to come to an end sometime. For me I knew it was about to come to a crashing halt when my mother said the big FOUR LETTER word to me – SCHOOL!”

Kelsie laughed again and said, “Dad, “school” has six letters.”

“Well, ‘Miss I like to interrupt my father’, I couldn’t spell at the time and school sure sounded like a four letter word to me! Where was I? Oh yea. Although my mother tried to convince me school was a great opportunity for me and I would love it – I knew I didn’t want my life of leisure to come to an end.

The night before the dreaded day my mom put my clothes out on the foot of my bed: a yellow turtle neck, green pants, fruit of the looms, tube socks, and hush puppies. All my clothes, except for the tube socks, were brand new. The next day when I woke up for school I put them on; it felt like millions of little ants were crawling all over my body! After I got dressed I went downstairs to eat my Cheerios and to watch my last episode of Sesame Street. After one of the finest performances of “One of These Things Is Not Like the Other” my mom said, “Kenny it’s time to go outside to wait for the bus.” Solemnly I stood up, I scratched myself all over my body (the ants were still crawling on me), walked over to Tipper and gave him a hug goodbye. I then walked the long green mile to my bus stop – just outside my front door.”

Kelsie asked my dad, “What’s the long green mile.”

My dad responded, “When a person, who is in prison, is about to be executed they call the walk from the prison cell to the electric chair – the long green mile. Do you get the symbolism here?”

I said, “I don’t know what symbolism is but we get it now - you can continue.”

“Okay. So outside my front door, while we waited for the bus to come, my mom tried to lighten the mood; she laughed and joked about how much fun school was going to be but she also mentioned how much she was going to miss me. Then BAM! The realization of how my life was about to change hit me like a ton of bricks! But it was more than that; not only was my life about to change – my mother’s life was going to change too! I started thinking; this is the end of our quality mother/son time – no more Sesame Street, no more Electric Company, no more cartoons, no more “sands through the hour glass”, NO MORE “THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES”! I couldn’t do this to my mother. What would she do during the day without her favorite son to keep her company? No! I couldn’t and wouldn’t do this to my mother!

But before I could do anything - I saw it! A huge yellow school bus was barreling down Riverside Drive toward my house – it came to a complete stop right outside the front of my house. The door opened and inside I saw a scary old man with bad teeth who was preparing to take me away from my mother. My mother gave me a kiss and said, “Have a great time at school Kenny,” and she stepped back. I turned to her and screamed, ‘No! I won’t do this to you mom – YOU NEED ME!’ I ran back to save her; she was shocked by her little boy’s response. She might have thought I was scared of school but nothing could be further from the truth - I wasn’t doing this for me – I WAS DOING THIS FOR HER!

When I got back to her I wrapped my arms around her legs and said, ‘Mom, sniff, I, sniff, can’t, sniff, do, sniff, this, sniff, to, sniff, you, sniff!’ She said, ‘Kenny, you’re a big boy now and you need to go to school so you can grow up to be the greatest UPS Finance Manager in the world! You’ll only be gone for a few hours – I’ll be fine – trust me. Now, I need you to get back on the bus so you can become the man I want you to be!’ For a second - I was weak – I let my mother talk me into getting on the bus – even though I knew in my heart that’s not what she really wanted. Once I sat down in my seat I thought to myself, “What have I done?” I realized I was wrong to get on the bus – but it was too late! The driver slammed the door shut and pulled away from my house! Through the bus window I saw my mother waving goodbye to me. My face was plastered up against the window, tears trickling down my face, and then I let out a scream at the top of my lungs, ‘Mommy I don’t want to leave you!’ I cried the whole way to school!”

Kelsie said, with a smile on her face, “Dad, I thought this was when you became an untamed man! Sounds like this is when you became a big, ole wimp!”

“Kelsie, did I say I was finished? Be patient! Sometimes it takes a crisis to really change a person – and this was a crises! You’ll see the rebel come out in me before this story’s over.

When we finally arrived at the school, which was actually a Methodist Church on Sundays, we were led off the bus like convicts going to prison – the only things missing were the orange jump suits, shackles, and the chains. We were led to our class room; where we would be confined for four hours a day – five days a week – to be indoctrinated. My teacher, Mrs. Vorhees assigned us to our cell blocks, which she called tables. At my ‘table’ were four kids including me, Lisa Vertusso, John Signerelli, and Julie Puncherelli.

I didn’t talk much to my new cell mates because I was preoccupied developing the most foolproof escape plan known to man. It was a perfect, flawless plan which if implemented properly would allow me to break free from this nightmare called school! I noticed when we pulled up to the school it was surrounded by woods and those woods, if my calculations were correct, would lead to my Aunt Robbie’s house just off of Hillside Avenue. The key was waiting for the right time.

After all the kids got settled in their seats Mrs. Vorhees told us she would read us a story after she went over some of her Neo-Nazi school rules. Her rules were actually a bunch of fascist commands which included raising our hands before talking, sitting quietly, single file lines, plus many other rules intended to brainwash us into conformity and to take away our individualism and freedom! After she finished going over the rules she said, ‘Alright everyone please stand up quietly, push in your chair, line up in single file at the door; we’re going to the library for our story. As all these five year old SHEEPLE stood up, pushed in their chairs, and gave the Feuer, I mean teacher, a ‘Heil Hitler’ I saw my way out! As my class lined up I made sure I was at the end of the line; when we walked out of our classroom all the other kids made a right turn – I quietly made a left turn. Once out of the site of the teacher I ran straight for the front door of the school – to my freedom!

When I made it outside I was standing in a deep puddle I looked straight up into the sky, the rain poured down my face and I threw my hands in the air and let out a scream…”

Kelsie spoke up, “Dad that sounds like the movie we watched on TV a few weeks ago, ‘The Shawshank Redemption’.”

“Kelsie, will you let me finish my story without interrupting!? Where was I? Oh yea, when I got outside I looked over the landscape trying to decide where to make my get away. I decided my best hope for freedom was through the woods behind the school. I looked back and saw my teacher through the glass doors AND SHE SAW ME! I started running as fast as my legs could carry me. I ran through bushes, I climbed over dead trees, I ran across streams – I just ran and ran without looking back. My heart was pounding, I was huffing and puffing, my body was covered with sweat – now my body was really itching! I couldn’t run anymore – I dropped to the ground exhausted and crawled behind a wide Oak tree, trying to catch my breath. In the distance I heard some commotion, I heard some adult voices say, ‘There he is – let’s get him!’

The thought of going back to San Quintin, I mean school, scared me to death and so my adrenaline started flowing again - I got my second wind! I took off into the deepest, darkest parts of the woods. I ran as fast as my kindergarten legs would take me and for a little while I lost them again. But then I heard my teacher yelling, ‘Kenny where are you! Kenny come back to school! Kenny!’ Then I heard the blood hounds! They set free three or four blood hounds to track me down; they were hot on my trail but they couldn’t catch me…”

I had to speak up this time. I said, “Dad, there is NO WAY they sent out blood hounds after you! No way in the world! You don’t expect us to believe that do you?”

“See Kelsie, do you see what you’ve done? You’ve turned your little brother against me – he’s starting not to believe my stories just like you! I hope you’re happy with yourself. Okay Cam. I’m not saying I actually saw the blood hounds but I know I heard a dog bark so I assumed that they sent them after me. But if you choose not to believe your daddy you can scratch the blood hounds from the story - but the rest of the story is…cough, cough…true!

A short while later I heard my teacher coming after me, unfortunately for me, she was much faster than I was - she caught me a short distance away from school, she carried me back, and placed me in solitary confinement which was actually the table next to her desk. Over the next several weeks Mrs. Vorhees worked with me every day trying to reprogram me – kind of like the communists did to ex-capitalists in the Soviet Union and Communist China. She tried to break my spirit and break it she did; after she “Water Boarded” me for the 112th time I couldn’t take it any longer - I finally gave in and accepted the fact that my life of freedom – my life of Sesame Street, the Electric Company, Cartoons, and Soap Operas had come to an end and I must conform or lose my mind!

So Cameron and Kelsie – that’s the story of my first day of school. I didn’t get off to such a good start but actually this was probably the highlight of my early school years.”

My dad was smiling as he told us this. He then continued, “Kelsie, how’s that for a rebel without a cause? Now you know exactly what a wild man your dad really is!”

Kelsie smiled and said, “Uhh…sure dad…you were living on the edge! You’re a crazy man dad! Can I put on Hannah Montana back on now?”

Over the next few days my dad told me some of his other stories about school. Of course he told me about his teachers, about his friends, about his favorite classes, and about his grades. But I remembered his stories the best - like the one about...

To be continued...

Last Weekends in Review...

2009-11-08T12:48:00.014-05:00

Here are a few pictures from the last couple of weekends...

My parents, my sister Gena, and brother Philip came in for a visit a couple of weeks ago. We had an excellent time (even with Philip).

We spent Sunday afternoon in Dahlonega. This is the place the famous quote, "There's gold in them thar hills" was uttered. There are a lot of interesting little stores and nice restaurants surrounding town square...

My dad, Kelsie, Cameron, and I played a little golf at Riverpines GC. We split up into teams - my dad and Kelsie against Cameron and me. I'll let you guess who won...I'll give you a hint...my dad will be paying Cameron's college tuition...

Sheri went back to St. Louis for a few days for work. Her parents came to help me take care of the kids (yes, it's too big of a job for me by myself). Jim and Bonnie are always a BIG help and I enjoy spending time with them. On Saturday Jim, Cameron, and I played gold at Lanier GC. It was fun - in spite of our scores...

On Saturday, Jim, Bonnie, Cameron, and I went to Dahlonega (yes, the same place as the week before). It was a lot of fun. We shopped, ate, and listened to Blue Grass Music. Every Saturday from May (I think) through November a bunch of musicians get together and have a Blue Grass Jam in Dahlonega's Town Square.

I love all kinds of music and on Saturday I found out I also like Blue Grass. Here is a little bit from my favorite Blue Grass song...Dooley. You can sing along...here are the words:

"Dooley, slippin' up the holler

Dooley, tryin' to make a dollar

Dooley, give me a swaller

And I'll pay you back someday."

They don't make music like this anymore!

Jewel was watching me as I was singing Dooley. Here she is tapping her tail to the beat...

WE ARE IN TROUBLE...

2009-10-15T12:54:00.016-04:00

I am on stay-cation this week. It’s a stay-cation because Sheri is at a training class in San Antonio and so I’m hanging around the house taking care of the kids, running errands, and working on numerous projects (like vacuuming up the crumbs from under the couch cushions). It’s rained almost everyday this week and so I’ve spent a lot of time inside with the TV on.

Most of you who know me know I am a political junky and so as I’m working on my projects (like scrubbing the dried up, crusty toothpaste [with the little piece of hair sticking out of it] out of the toothpaste cap) I have the political and business news shows on my TV’s. I’ve been listening to shows like Bloomberg, CNBC, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, Fox Business - sounds interesting, doesn't it?

Yes, I know most of you are thinking, “Kenny, get a life…” but I find politics and discussions about the economy very interesting. I’ve listened to dozens of conversations/interviews between politicians and anchors/talk show hosts on topics such as health care, the economy, Afghanistan, Iraq, etc., etc.

Now, granted, watching these news shows can give you a distorted view of the world because all they report is the bad news. Sometimes it’s like watching three episodes of Jerry Springer late at night – you start to think everyone’s brother is sleeping with his step-mother – which we know isn’t true...I think. But even though I know I am seeing a distorted view of this country when I watch these news shows, I have to be honest with you, our country is in trouble! Not a little bit of trouble...big trouble...trouble which will not be easy to undo...

I like to joke about a lot of things but I am not joking about this. I am not the type of person who cries wolf (except when I'm sick) or a Chicken Little who claims the sky is falling (except when I think I'm getting sick) - but make not mistake about it - the decisions our federal government is making, in the name of helping us, are bankrupting our country. Our country is in serious trouble! If we continue following the path of change we are currently on - our children will grow up in a changed country...a country which will be vastly different from the country you and I have grown up in. We are on a direct path to becoming a financial basket case - and the Executive Branch of the Federal Government knows it and they don't care! Yes, you heard (read) me correctly - they know their actions will bankrupt our country but they DON'T CARE!

I will explain...in painful detail...exactly what I'm referring to...in my next post...unless I win my tennis match tomorrow against Stevie Wonder and Ironside...

Composure...

2009-10-04T16:39:00.011-04:00

Composure: Webster's Dictionary defines Composure as, "calmness or repose especially in frame of mind or in bearing or appearance." My definition of composure is, "calmness and self control in the face of adversity." Keep this in mind...I'll come back to it later.

The way ALTA (Atalanta Lawn & Tennis Association) is set-up is based on sub-divisions. Each sub-division is a team (my team is Gran Forest), each team plays five games (matches) every Saturday, sub-divisions play against other subdivisions. This Saturday my team, Gran Forest, was at home and played against Fieldstone sub-division. The first matches began at 9:00am and the last match finished around 2:00pm.

Saturday mornings are more than just sitting around watching tennis. The home team supplies food and drink for all the players and the fans and so it's more like a big party or picnic with tennis matches going on in the background.

Here is a picture of some of the fans hanging out watching two of the early matches.

Okay, back to composure. On the last post I mentioned I finally won a match against a wily 72 year old veteran who had two leg braces, one arm brace, and glaucoma (or was it cataracts?). Well, this week Steve (my teammate) and I played against two experienced tennis players. One guy was in his thirties, he was very good. The other guy was about 66 years old, he had one leg brace, he walked with a serious limp, and I'm pretty sure he had pace maker. I'm getting to composure...

These older experienced guys are not nimble on their feet but they can place the ball with unbelievable precision. This veteran could place the ball down the middle, he could poke it down the side line or back line, he could lob it over our heads, he could dink it just over the net. He made us run around like a couple of chickens with their heads cut off.

Now don't take this wrong, this man was a very nice guy and I don't think I'm better than him BUT, BUT, BUT I don't think my expectations are too high when I think I should whoop him at tennis!!!! It kills me that I lost to a man who couldn't bend down to pick up a tennis ball at his feet because of arthritis!!!! So, why do I mention composure? BECAUSE IF IT WASN'T FOR MY COMPOSURE I WOULD HAVE SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LOSING TO A MAN WHO RIDES AROUND ON A SCOOTER WHILE HE'S SHOPPING AT THE GROCERY STORE - AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Okay, I feel better...now I can go back to pretending like I have composure... :)

Here's a video I took while Cam, Kelsie, and Cam's friend went to the driving range last week. It was pouring out but there was nothing else to do and so we hit some golf balls and got soaked.

First Major Tournament Win!

2009-09-30T15:59:00.006-04:00

As you know I am playing on my sub-division doubles tennis team. Sunday I played my third match; the previous two matches were close (sort of) but my partner and I came in second place. But this Sunday it was different - we pulled out a tough three set match!

The first set went to a tie breaker - we won 7-5, we lost the second set 4-6, but we came back and won the third set 6-4 to win the match!

The other team had a guy who I guess is in his late thirties who was inexperienced like I am, BUT, they also had a wily, crafty, experienced, veteran who kept them in the game. He played the angles superbly and had a great strategy.

Here's a picture of the crafty old veteran; after the game as he was taking off his arm brace and his two leg braces, he congratulated me on playing a good match. He went on to tell me he is 72 years and although he would love to stick around to watch the other matches he couldn't - because later that afternoon he was having outpatient surgery to remove his two cataracts.

The U.S. Open?

2009-09-12T18:53:00.005-04:00

Today was a first for me...my first tennis match. I am playing on my sub-division ALTA tennis team - ALTA stands for Atlanta Lawn & Tennis Association. There are different skill levels starting with A1 (Pro), A2, A3, A4, A5, B1, B2, B3, B4, B5, C1, C2, C3, and then finally there is my level - level C4. I am one level above playing against people in wheelchairs and two levels above blind players.

I'm still trying to perfect my game...here's a short video of my serve...not pretty but I got a point on this one...

Game, Set, Match...!!

Weekend in Review...

2009-09-07T19:51:00.009-04:00

We spent Labor Day weekend in Nashville, Tenn with our friends the Kotlarczyks, the Klaus', and the Henrys. We spent the weekend playing golf, shopping, swimming, and hanging out together. We had a lot of fun...

On Saturday and Sunday the guys played golf...

Here are the golfers - from left to right; Sam, Mike, Michael, Cam, and Ron. We had perfect weather for golf both days...

On Sunday, Cam, Michael, and I played together. Michael and I played a golf game called Bingo, Bango, Bongo, Bam to make it a little more interesting. I can remember when I used to whoop him at golf...now he whoops me...and he takes a few dollars from me at the same time.

I can't tell you how good of a golfer Cameron is now. It is so exciting and so much fun to be able to play a good, competitive came of golf with my son. Here is a video of him driving the ball about 135 yards straight down the middle. The one part of his game he needs to work on is HIS GOLF CART DRIVING!!! He is the most dangerous golf cart driver I've ever seen in my life! :)

BTW, I thought it would be helpful to have a video of my swing to help me identify any mistakes I was making. I got a 9 on one hole, an 11 on another, and a 59 on the front nine so I thought it would be helpful to see what I was doing wrong. I gave the camera to Cameron and here is the result. When he finished I said, "Cam, did you video my swing?" Cam said, "Yup dad, got it."

Politics - Read at you own risk...

2009-08-16T15:06:00.016-04:00

I have been watching and listening to the health care debate over the past few months. I've also been emailing and calling my Senators and congressman to make sure they know my opinion on this extremely important issue. I won't go into the details of why I'm against the type of health care reform being discussed but suffice it to say I am VERY against it. If you have 5 hours to kill you can call me and I'll explain why.

As most of you know I enjoy watching the Sunday News Shows almost as much as I like watching baseball and football games. I know I'll get a liberal view when I watch "This Week", "Meet the Press", and 'Face the Nation". I know I'll get an outrageously liberal viewpoint when I watch the "Chris Matthews Show". I also know I'll get a moderate to conservative view when I watch "Fox News Sunday". I like to watch and listen to the liberal shows to make sure I hear all side of the issues. I think it makes my opinion stronger but it can be very frustrating to me when the hosts of these shows let their liberal views shine through.

On such an important issue as changing the way our health care system functions shouldn't news show hosts try and present a fair, unbiased view of the issue? Maybe I'm naive but that's what I expect.

What I have below is a SMALL, VERY SMALL example of how the main stream media frames the debate. They frame it and influence it by the questions they ask and the questions they don't ask.

Below in red are excepts from the transcripts from Meet the Press. I have also included my comments in yellow. You tell me if our 'Independent Press" asks the questions you need to have answered in order for YOU to make an informed decision on health care reform or...or not.

MTP - DAVID GREGORY: "This morning, a special hour-long discussion making sense of health care. What are the issues at the center of the debate? How would reform affect your health care? Separating fact from fiction in the fight. And what does it mean politically for President Obama?"

I thought it would be an informative show based on his opening. But I was quickly disappointed when I heard his third question. Keep in mind this is a question from the host of the most watched Sunday morning news show. Also, keep in mind his stated goal is to "make sense of health care":

MTP - DAVID GREGORY: “All right. But let’s talk about the tone of the debate. There have been death threats against members of Congress, there are Nazi references to members of Congress and to the president…Senator Coburn, you are from Oklahoma. When this element comes out in larger numbers because of this debate, what, what troubles you about that?..."

Senator Coburn answers David Gregory's question. Although I'm not sure how this is going to help people to "make sense of health care". If I were a cynical person I would say he was trying to marginalize the people who are against the current health care reform proposals and therefore marginalize their opinions - but that's just my opinion:

MTP - SENATOR TOM COBURN (R-OK): "Well, I’m, I’m troubled anytime when we, we stop having confidence in, in our government...."

David Gregory being the top reporter for NBC didn't feel Senator Coburn's answer was sufficient to help us "make sense of health care" and so he asked a follow-up question. In my opinion David Gregory was a little more animated when he asked his follow-up - but that's just my opinion. Now I'm not sure how the answer to this question was going to help me understand the health care issues but maybe NBC News knows better than me:

MTP - DAVID GREGORY: "That’s—but wait, hold on, I want to stop you there. I’m talking about the tone. I am talking about violence against the government. That’s what this is synonymous with."

Eventually David Gregory did ask some non-subjective questions which might help people "make sense of health care". He asked about cost. This is an important question because we need to know how we are going to pay for it. Here is his question to democrat Charlie Rangel.

MTP - DAVID GREGORY: "…How do you fund reform? It’s going to be expensive…I want to bring in Charlie Rangel, congressman of New York, of course, chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee."

Pretty good question - "HOW DO YOU FUND REFORM?" Maybe David just started off slowly but now his award winning reporting was taking over...now I needed to hear how Representative Rangel thinks the reform will be paid for.

MTP - REPRESENTATIVE RANGEL: "…when the people of the industry can tell you that they can save tens of trillions of dollars by working with the president, then you know that we can resolve most of this by stopping what we’re doing wrong."

Now, I thought this response, from a leading Democrat, was interesting. He just said, "TENS OF TRILLIONS" of dollars can be saved by working with the president. Surely, this deserved a follow-up question. I expected Davy to ask, "Where did you get that statistic from? Who calculated it?" At the very least it deserved, "Excuse me Representative Rangel. Did you really mean TRILLIONS or did you misspeak?" I waited and waited but there was no follow-up question from our top reporter from the top news show.

A little later David Gregory asked a executive vice president of the Chamber of Commerce a question. This man made some interesting points related to unintended consequences of the proposed health care reform.

MTP - DAVID GREGORY: "Let me bring in Bruce Josten . He’s the executive vice president of the Chamber of Commerce. They have a perspective on this."

Bruse Josten is concerned that a public option will encourage many employers to cease providing their employees with health care because their employees could receive health care from the government. A VERY likely scenarios in my opinion. This would increase health care costs for the government which would require taxes to be increased to pay for them.

MTP - BRUSE JOSTEN: "...and independent researchers in the health care analytical area, as well as CBO, have expressed concerns that many employees could migrate away from employer-sponsored cover because of that competitive cost advantage..."

Senator Dashele chimed in and made an interesting comment:

MTP - SENATOR DASHELE: "I think the argument is kind of interesting. It is that, well, this is going to be so popular that people are going to leave the private sector and go to the public sector."

Senator Dashele's comments either showed his ignorance or he really thinks we're a bunch of idiots!! The point is NOT that people would leave their private health care for public health care because it's more popular - IT'S BECAUSE THEIR PRIVATE SECTOR HEALTH CARE WOULDN'T BE OFFERED BY THEIR EMPLOYERS ANYMORE IF THERE IS A PUBLIC OPTION!!!!!

I waited for a follow-up question from our crack reporter, from the top news show in America, but unfortunately I'm still waiting.

So, can we rely on politicians or the main stream media to provide us with facts and relevant information related to health care? Can we rely on them to ask politicians the tough questions we need answered to help us make informed decisions concerning health care?

Weekend in Review...(still under construction...I'm tired and going to bed)

2009-08-09T21:17:00.014-04:00

The Weekend with the Linn's...

We went to the zoo on Saturday. In case you don't know - I LOVE THE ZOO!! When we lived in St. Louis we were members of the St. Louis Zoo - we were "Zoo Friends". This meant you paid about $100 and you got free parking, free train rides, and and and...I think thats it. But we used to go on a fairly regular basis. When the kids were young I would take them for the afternoon, we'd have lunch there and some Dip-n-Dots...then we were on our way back home. So when we were trying to decide where to take the Linn's I thought the zoo would be great...

One of the nice things about the Atlanta Zoo is there are a lot of trees and so you are almost always in the shade. It was a hot day on Saturday (about 96 degrees) but it didn't feel too bad...

One of the things i have found interesting over the years is how we classify the different animals. They call this the "genus" and so when I see an animal at the zoo I always ask, "What genus is it in?"

My favorite animals are the great apes...especially the gorilla's. Or as they are known by their genus - The Monkapeealotapus

Lions - from the genus Kittycatasleepicus

Orangatang - from the genus Eatabananalotacus

Kelsie and Ryan - from the genus Luvbirdsapithakiss

The Giant Pandas - from the genus Layaroundandpukebambooatonacus

Elephant - from the genus Poopthesizeofamountainacus

After the zoo we went to a Civil War Museum. Cameron and I have an ongoing debate over the Civil War. He thinks it was illegal for the South to secede from the Union...I say it was legal. We asked this man at the museum...I wont' tell you who he agreed with BUT it's amazing how uninformed these Civil War re-inactor people are... ;) He was from the genus - Hedontknowhistoryatallacus!!!

Top Locker

2009-07-31T22:14:00.007-04:00

As most of you know I'm home alone while my family is out of town visiting family in Coal Valley, Ill. So it was left up to me to go to Kelsie’s new school to pickup her schedule, her gym uniform, and most importantly I had to pickout and pay for her locker - the locker HAD to be a TOP LOCKER. To Kelsie the TOP LOCKER was the most important part of my job – because all the cool kids have a top locker!

So being the nice father that I am I talked to my boss and told him, “I’ll be in a little late on Friday. I have to take care of some things at my daughter’s school.” I knew the doors to the school opened at 8:00 a.m. and so I thought it would be a good idea to get there early; my plan was to get there around 7:45 a.m.; I’d cruise in, pickup the schedule, pay for the uniform, pick out the top locker and within minutes I’d be cruising out – on my way to work!

Well, today I left my house at 7:30 a.m. and drove the 4 miles to my daughter’s new school. As I approached the school I noticed the parking lot was packed with cars. As I got closer I noticed a long line of people outside the front door of the school. Some people were standing, some were in lounge chairs, and some were packing up their tents – they must have slept in line the night before. It reminded me of a time I went to Madison Square Garden to purchase tickets for "The Who" concert. The line was ridiculous – it started at the front door, it went past the Performing Arts Center, around the corner past the football field – the end of the line ended between the cafeteria entrance and the dumpster for the cafeteria! So there I stood next to the smelly dumpster - on a rotten banana peel – but I thought to myself, "Ths is worth it for my daughter to have a top locker."

Pretty soon I began feeling better mostly because of the people who came after me who had to get behind me in line. Then I heard someone in front of me say, “Did you feel that? It felt like a raindrop.” She was right – about 10 seconds later it began raining. It’s lucky I remembered to bring my umbrella to the school with me – unfortunately I left it in the car. So there I stood in the rain – with everyone else around me covered by nice big umbrellas. I thought to myself, “Surely someone will offer to cover me up – at least a little.” It didn't take long for me to figure out that was a silly thought. Luckily for me the downpour didn’t last for long – plus, I thought to myself, “Getting a little wet is worth it if my daughter gets a top locker.”

About 15 minutes later, after the rain had stopped, I heard a woman’s voice screaming something. I could see the woman; she appeared to be part of the school administration. I could hear something coming from her mouth but it wasn’t clear. It appeared to be something important. All the people around her were nodding their heads up and down as if to say, “Yes, we understand what we’re supposed to do.” I turned to the man behind me and asked, “Did you hear what she said?” He said, “No. but I’m sure she’ll walk back here and repeat it.” He said this about 5 seconds before she turned and walked back into the school.

A couple of minutes later the line started moving. It was about 8:00 a.m. and so they must have opened the doors. I shuffled my feet forward along with the rest of the herd - getting closer to the front door with each shuffle of my feet. By this time there were a lot of people behind me in line. I felt pretty good. My strategy of getting to the school early might not have been perfect but at least I was in better position to get a top locker then the losers behind me!

About 15 minutes later and after about a million shuffles of my feet - I reached the front door! Through the front doors I could see an area packed with people. There seemed to be a large desk past all the people – more like a reception desk then a school desk. Behind the desk it looked like there were 5 young people; probably high school seniors helping out. As I walked through the doors I looked for signs; I didn’t see any signs except for 'Exit' signs and 'Fall-Out Shelter' signs. All I could tell for sure is there were 5 lines and so I assumed I should get in line. I picked the short line and stood there. Again, I shuffled my feet, stood, shuffled my feet, stood, etc. About 15 minutes later I got to the front of the line. It wasn’t until the people in front of me finished that I finally saw the first sign. The sign, which was taped on the bottom of the desk, said, “Q – U”! Now, as you know, “I’m Not a Smart Man…” but at this point I had an idea what the sign “Q – U” was for - and unfortunately my name isn't Qhand. If the objective of the sign placement was for the signs NOT to be seen – the objective was accomplished! Nonetheless, I walked up to the desk and said, “I didn’t see the sign until just now. Can you find Kelsie Hand’s schedule for me?” She looked at me and said, “I’m sorry sir but I can’t. You’ll have to wait in that line.” Now keep in mind she said this to me in a very kind way and I’m sure she is a very sweet little girl but I was upset. However, when I turned around and saw the length of the “H – L” line – I was more than upset - I was ......!

I walked to the back of the “H – L” line – PAST ALL THE LOSERS I MENTIONED EARLIER. REMEMBER THE LOSERS - THE PEOPLE WHO WERE BEHIND ME IN LINE WHEN I WAS STANDING OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN!!! I looked at each of these losers as I walked past them to the back of the line - with every step I took I was hoping some compassionate person would step back to leave an opening and say, “Come in front of me. I was standing behind you outside in the rain and it’s not your fault you got in the wrong line – nobody can even see the signs.” But instead - when they saw me they all inched forward – closer together – there wasn't any doubt they all wanted me to walk to the back of the line! I just shook my head, walked to the back of the line and thought to myself, “Calm down. I’m doing this for Kelsie.”

About 15 minutes later I reached the front of my new line. I raised my right hand and pointed to it and said, “Kelsie Hand”. The young girl quickly pulled Kelsie’s schedule out – it was easier now because half of the schedules had been distributed to all the losers who were standing behind me in the line when I was outside in the rain!!!! I asked her, “Could you tell me where I go to get my daughters locker.” She said, “Follow the arrow around the corner to the cafeteria sir.” I thanked her and was on my way to the next step of my journey.

I walked around the corner to the cafeteria. In the cafeteria were rows of long lunch tables which formed 7 isles. The cafeteria doors brought you in at the back of the cafeteria where there was a sign positioned next to the middle isle (see the picture above). On the sign was written, “Locker Line” and it was pointed down the middle isle – did I mention that? At the end of the isle were five people with computers sitting behind a table. The way the school had it set-up was for the line to form down this middle isle and when one of the computer people were free they would call, “Next person in line” and the person next in the ONE, SINGLE LINE would walk over to that person and ask for a locker.

I walked over to the ONE, SINGLE LINE and was about the 20th person in line. I noticed about 5 people order lockers as I stood there and when they were done they moved on and the computer person called, “Next” and then the next person in line walked over to them. This worked like a charm, like I said for about 5 people, but then something happened. For some unknown reason some (I’m having to restrain myself from using some bad language here) some p…l….a…some people thought it would be easier if they didn’t stand in the ONE, SINGLE LINE!!!! They decided it would be easier if they walked down the other isles directly to the tables where the computer people were - THEY WERE CUTTING IN LINE!!!!!! My eyes popped out of my head, I looked to my left, I looked to my right – I thought to myself “THESE PEOPLE ARE CUTTING!!!!” I was about to say something like, “” I better not tell you what I was about to say but before I could say anything it was too late. Newer people were now entering the cafeteria and these new people didn't know about the ONE, SINGLE LINE!! They unknowingly lined up behind the people in the newly create lines - they were in line with THE CUTTERS!!!!! It was too late now - THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO TO STOP IT!!! I stood there thinking about my situation, "If it wasn't for the CUTTERS I would have gotten Kelsie a top locker in about 10 minutes but now my 10 minutes had turned into 45 minutes BECAUSE OF THE CUTTERS!!!!!" Now, everyone who knows me knows I liked George Bush (not loved - liked). I know he wasn’t the most articulate president we ever had and I thought his term for terrorists was kind of silly but I thought his term was appropriate in my situation – I was surrounded by EVIL DOERS!!!!!! Me and the two people standing in line behind me were the only NON-EVIL DOERS IN THE SCHOOL– everyone else in that cafeteria and in the school today were EVIL DOERS!!!!!

Now you might think I’m making this up – but I promise I’m not. After I calmed down from being overrun by CUTTERS and EVIL DOERS I went back to shuffle, shuffle, stand, shuffle, shuffle, stand, etc. In front of me there was a mother, a daughter, and a friend who were together. In front of them were 2 other parent/child groups. There I stood in the line, repeating to myself, “Serenity now, serenity now…” when all of a sudden I feel two 14 years old wenches, I mean girls, push past me so they could be next to the 2 girls and the mother in front of me. At first I gave them the benefit of the doubt and thought, “Certainly, they wouldn’t cut past me and all the other people in line - they're probably just visiting with their friends.” But I knew I was wrong when I heard one of the vixens, I mean girls, say, “I hate waiting in line – even though I didn’t have to wait.” Then all the girls laughed together – one of them glancing back at me!

I won’t tell you what happened next - but - I will tell you that Kelsie will forever be known as the daughter of the CRAZY MAN WHO WAS PLACED IN HANDCUFFS, DRAGGED OUT OF SCHOOL, WHILE HE WAS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS – YOU ARE ALL CUTTERS, CUTTERS I SAY...CUTTERS and EVIL DOERS...YOU ARE ALL CUTTERS AND EVIL DOERS!!!!!!

BTW, I was able to get a top locker for Kelsie... :)

Weekend in Review...

2009-07-26T19:50:00.004-04:00

WHITEWATER RAFTING ON THE OCOEE RIVER!!!

A couple of my friends and I drove up to the Tennessee/Geogia border to do a little Whitewater Rafting down the Ocoee (pronounced O-cho-e) River. It was...how do I say this...it was AWESOME!!!!

Whitewater rafting is categorized by Classes 1 through 6. Class 1 is a calm, slow moving river...Class 6 is extremely dangerous and includes huge waves, huge rocks, huge drops, and rapidly running water. We rafted on a Class 4 river - large waves, large drops, and rapidly running water.

We were on the river for about 4 hours...Tom, Rich, and I are planning our next trip...we're taking on CLASS 5 next!!!

Tom and I are in the front...Rich is behind Tom (I'm the one who looks like Burt Reynolds in Deliverance or is it Ned Beatty)...

This is the same river that was used during the 1996 Summer Olympics....

The rapids were so rough in one place our raft almost tipped over and two people were thrown out of the raft...I dove in and saved both of them...alright...I didn't save them but I did stop rowing and I waited for them...

I would HIGHLY recommend Whitewater rafting...it's kind of like "Thunder River" at Six Flags...except it's much more exciting because you can DIE!!! ;)

Sunday's with my kids...

2009-07-25T18:18:00.005-04:00

Every Saturday morning, when we're at home, my kids and I go to McDonald's for breakfast. It's a time for us to hangout together and enjoy each other's company...or maybe it's just a time for them use their daddy to drive them to McDonald's so they can eat Hot Cakes and Bacon, Egg, and Cheese McGriddles...I'm really not sure. When they have friends sleep over on Friday nights...their friends come too.

Here's a recent Saturday visit to McDonalds...the night before, Kelsie and her friend watched "The Notebook"... here's Kelsie and her friend telling me about this "love story'...

...based on their description of the movie - it's about how love gives you Alzheimer's disease...and kills you...

Dish Stacking Mystery...

2009-07-19T19:36:00.003-04:00

The Week in Review...

2009-07-19T17:59:00.019-04:00

This past week my family and our friends the Kotlarczyk's went on a cruise...

We went on a 4 Day/5 Night Carnival Cruise to Cozumel and Playa Del Carmen (Near Cancun). Prices are incredibly low right now and so if you like cruises I'd recommend you look into taking a cruise somewhere...

Below is a picture of the ship - the Holiday. It is one of the first ships Carnival purchased and so it wasn't their largest ship but it was nice...

We went on the cruise with our good friends - The Kotlarczyks (someday I'll learn how to spell their name)...here we are wrapped around our nightly feeding trough...

The food was delicious...Lobster...Prime Rib...Red Snapper...Shrimp...and the dessert was even better...the first night at dinner I met the "Chocolate Melting Cake" it was love at first bite...

The ship was nice...here is the water slide where Cameron and Kelsie spent a lot of their time...

It did get a little crowded on the days we were at sea...here is one of the pools - it kind of reminded me of the Van Cortland pool in August...the only things missing are the white swimming caps...

We docked in Cozumel on Wednesday. We spent most of the day at a nice beach which had snorkeling, kayaking, scuba diving, wave runners, and everything else you can think of...the water was beautiful...some of us spent the second half of the day shopping...some of us spent the second half of the day complaining about shopping...

Here are Kelsie and her friend Kayaking...

Here is Cameron getting ready to go snorkeling with the sharks...

There was a dock a short distance off the beach...Cameron and I swam out there to get a break from the Paparazzi...

The following day our ship docked in Playa Del Carmen...we spent the morning riding ATVs through the jungles of Mexico...later in the day we went snorkeling off the coast of Mexico...hopefully I will have pictures later...

Riding ATVs, Snorkeling, shopping, and complaining about shopping took a lot out us...here Cameron and I are relaxing while drinking a couple of Strawberry Daiquiris...

Formal night was fun...here are Kelsie and her close friends...

Cam didn't want to lose his golf edge while he was on vacation so he worked on his game while on the ship...

I think the highlight of the cruise for a few people was the free ice cream...Cameron said he averaged between five and seven vanilla ice cream cones per day...by the end of the cruise he just stuck his head under the ice cream dispenser and sucked in the ice cream... he said, "It's more efficient..."

Ruth entertained us with "The Rose" during Karaoke...she has an incredible voice...I decided not to participate in Karaoke - a big disappointment to many...

But I couldn't resist participating in the Trivia Contest...I'm too humble to tell you who won...but I will say that I walked off this stage with a "Gold Stick on a Ship"...

Cruises always have a lot of activities...one day they had 1970's dance lessons...Cameron couldn't resist...he broke out his dancing shoes...here he is learning to dance like John Travolta..."Push turn, push turn, funky, funky, funky..."

Cameron James Richard Philip TIGER Hand

2009-07-11T19:07:00.017-04:00

This past week Cameron and Kelsie went to Golf Camp at the Lanier Golf Course. Kelsie wasn't very excited about going, in fact, she complained that she didn't want to go. I was adamant that she go because she is a natural golfer - she really is. I'm very thankful we "forced" her to go because she had a great time. The golf pro and his assistant were very impressed with Kelsie's skills. They said she could play on the high school team right now. I think it was because of this encouragement and because she did so well that she had such a great time and was thankful she went (although I don't think she would admit it).

Cameron's golf week started off slow and he was a little discouraged but by the end of the week he had improved so much he was having a great time. It feels great to receive texts and calls from your kids telling you how good they did at something new (or newish) they are trying.

Since they had a great time I promised them I would take them to play golf over the weekend. Kelsie couldn't go because she had an Equestrian Team Party. So Cam and I went...before I go on let me tell you a quick Kelsie golfing story....

When Kelsie was 11 and 12 she played in a golf league in St. Louis and I saw her golf skills - she was outstanding! I loved watching her out drive the boys on her team - it drove the boys crazy when a girl showed them up (which made it even more fun). I was Kelsie's caddy during her games and so I had the privilege of watching her golf skills up close. My favorite story about Kelsie's golfing prowess took place on the 8th hole at Eagle Springs Golf Course in 2006. Kelsie had just parred the 8th hole and we walked to the T-Box on the 9th hole; we had to wait for the foursome in front of us to finish teeing off. While we were waiting I turned to Kelsie and said, "If you chip a ball in the hole I'll give you $100." I was talking about the 8th hole - hole. The hole was about 60 feet away and I KNEW she wouldn't get it in - nobody chips the ball in from 70 feet away. She had only been playing golf for 2 years and so I thought it was impossible for her to chip the ball in from 80 feet. She turned to me and said, "Are you serious. You'll give me $100 if I get the ball in the hole?" I said yes and a second later Kelsie dropped a ball on the ground, took a half back swing and from 90 feet away she dropped the ball 10 feet from the hole and I watched it trickle in the hole - it was amazing! Since I was serious when I made the bet I felt obligated to keep my word and so I gave her the $100 - not right away but eventually I gave her the $100.

So today I took Cameron to Riverpines Golf Course. Now, keep in mind I just heard about how well they both did at camp - I hadn't seen their new golf skills. Also, you know that when you're told how good your kids did you can expect there to be a little exaggeration - or at least that is what I assumed. So when Cameron and I stepped up to the first hole to tee off I assumed I would notice some improvement but my expectations weren't too, too high. I got up there first and hit the ball about 10 feet away from the hole (I had to put that in there). Then Cameron got up there took his back swing, hit the ball, followed through, and I watched the ball fly high in the air, straight as an arrow, and it plopped right on the green about 20 feet away from the hole. IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SWING I HAD EVER SEEN! I WAS SO IMPRESSED! It was amazing to see him look so professional! His picture perfect swings and his deadly accurate shots continued the whole day! He shot a 40! It was amazing!!!! I know I sometimes exaggerate on this blog (I can't remember when but I'm sure I have)...but this is NO EXAGGERATION...I AM VERY PROUD OF HIM...

I'm looking forward to playing with Kelsie...if she improves like Cameron did...she'll be the next Anikka Soremstam and I'm on easy street!!!

Here's a picture of Cameron's swing...

Here's a video of Cameron hitting the ball about 120 yards onto the green...check out his form!!!

America's Got Talent!

2009-07-04T12:19:00.006-04:00

The Singing Belly Button!!

The Dancing Fingers!!!

The NEW New Kids on the Block!!!

The Rapping Anchors!!!

Talent comes in all shapes, sizes, and types...

Weekend in review...

2009-06-28T11:55:00.014-04:00

It all began when our friends left on Friday...from top to bottom...Sarah, Hannah, Andrew, Vicky, Ron, Sheri, and Kelsie. Missing from the picture...Danny (stayed in St. Louis), Cameron (Gone to Boot Camp), Jewel, and me....

We will miss them...yes, we'll even miss Ron...

After the Klaus' left for St. Louis I got on an organizing kick!!!

It all started with my "Life in a Box". Since we've moved to Georgia I've had all our important papers; Will, Trust, Stocks, Bonds, Bank Accounts, Taxes, Birth Certificates, etc., etc. were in different boxes all over the house. I spent a few days organizing all of it...Now if you want to know anything about my life all you need to do is look in one of these two boxes...

While I was going through all my papers I decided to figure out my Net Worth...based on my calculations when I add up all my assets (including my unmatched socks, unused gift cards, and plugs, adapters, and chargers) and subtract all my liabilities my Net Worth is -$2.33!!

My next organizing project was related to something that has driven me crazy over the years...

As you know I love technology/gadgets; I have cell phones, iPods, iTouches, computers, laptops, DVD's, CD players, radios, cordless electric razors, DS Nintendo, Video Camera, etc., etc., etc. Unfortunately, all these items come with plugs, cords, chargers that plug into wall sockets, chargers that plug into car cigarette lighters, adapters that plugs into DVD's, TV's, TIVO's, BUT the worst thing about technology is the chargers, plugs, adapters are ALL BLACK and THEY NEVER...YES I SAID NEVER!!!!! THEY NEVER TELL YOU WHICH PLUG, ADAPTER, CHARGER GOES WITH WHICH GADGET!!!!! So what I have (and I bet you do) is a drawer full of black chargers, wires, cords, adapters, plugs...which are all twisted and knotted...and so when I need to charge, connect, or plug something in...the odds are very low that I will be able to find the correct plug, wire, cord, adapter, etc...it's actually easier to buy a new gadget than it is to find the adapter, charger that goes with it...

BUT THIS WEEK...I SAID...NO MORE!!!!!! NO LONGER WILL I BE A VICTIM!!!!! I DECIDED TO TAKE CHARGE OF MY LIFE...I DECIDED THAT IF BARAK OBAMA CAN SOLVE ALL THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS...I COULD AT THE VERY LEAST SOLVE THE BLACK HOLE DRAWER, TWISTED/KNOTTED WIRE DILEMMA!!!!

I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR, CLENCHED MY FISTS OVER MY HEAD, AND SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS - YES I CAN!!!!!!! So I spent several hours organizing the wires, plugs, adapters. I put them in baggies and I placed a printed label on the outside of every baggie (I found the label printer plug at the bottom of the Black Hole Drawer). I also solved some beguiling problems in the meantime..I discovered my electric skillet hasn't worked since 1987 because I was plugging it in with a 1989 Verizon Wireless Cell Phone Charger...now it works like a charm!!! On another positive note - my electric blender and my nose hair trimmer are now working...no more unsightly nose hairs!!!!!!

My next project was my daughters...I mean my son's hats. Girls have shoes...girls have purses...my son has hats!!!!! Whenever we go someplace special...vacations...baseball games...etc...Cameron buys a hat. Most of his hats can be found in his room, my room, the bathroom, the back of the car, the garage, the basement, under the sink, behind the dryer, and everywhere else you can think of...BUT NO MORE...now they are hanging on the CAT ROOM Wall...that's right...it's called THE CAT ROOM...not dad's room...not the my workout room...not the storage room...fathers get no respect!! But at least the "CAT ROOM' wall looks pretty good...

Can you name all the hats??

Yes...my organizing fit spread to the kitchen...here is the pantry...I added a couple of bigger shelves. The shelves weren't very deep and so I went to Home Depot to get deeper shelves because I got tired of stepping on Cherrios, Rice Crispies, Cocoa Crispies, Lucky Charms, and Fuit Loops and hearing the crunching sounds as I walked through the house. I also went the extra mile...I organized everything in alphabetical order...avocado dip is on the top...zucchini sticks are on the bottom...

I was feeling so good about my organizing...I decided to take on the single socks...they had defeated me before but I decided to give it a second try...I felt sure I could match at least five socks...after 45 minutes I gave up...a beaten man...

BTW, I still can't find my camera charger!!!!! I'm seriously considering blaming it on my kids and just moving on...

Weekend in Review

2009-06-23T22:15:00.020-04:00

My blog has been down for a few weeks due to technical difficulties - my charger for my camera is gone...I lost it while I was organizing everything in my house a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure I put it in a very safe place...I'm sure I labeled it...I'm sure I put it in alphabetical order...I'm sure I put it in a place where I would NEVER AGAIN forget where I put it...the only problem is - I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT PLACE IS!!!!

Yes, I would love to blame the missing charger on Kelsie...or Cameron...or my cleaning lady...or the cat...but I can't...I've decided the only thing to do is to follow Barak Obama's lead...IT'S GEORGE BUSH'S FAULT!!!! I only hope President Obama has included money in the stimulus package for lost camera chargers!! Yes, I know...I know...if I accept federal funds there will be strings attached to it and ultimately my kids will have to pay for it. Yes, I know Obama's economic policies don't make sense to any sensible economist...but hey...who cares...if he wants to give me money for my lost camera charger...I'll take it...

Alright...I don't know what caused me to go off on that little tangent...maybe Obama's insane/irresponsible spending, outrageous regulation, and unprecedented involvement the private sector has gotten to me...sorry...

Now back to my Weekend in Review...

Our close friends...the Klaus'...have come for a visit. We originally planned on going to Myrtle Beach but that didn't work out and so we decided we could have a better time staying in Georgia...and so we did stay in Georgia...and we have had a better time...

On Sunday we drove to Poole Mill Park which is located about 30 minutes from our house. It's a very nice public park where you can picnic, swim, and slide down the slippery rocks. In my opinion a more appropriate name would be "Break Your Neck Park". We had a great time but it's amazing that no one was hurt...here we are getting ready to slide down one of the rocks...

Now...I think it's important for me to address a question I'm sure everyone reading this blog has. In an earlier blog I mentioned that NO ONE, YES NO ONE, has ever seen my feet...which is 100% true! But I'm sure you are now asking, "Ken(ny), how is it possible for you to go swimming without anyone seeing your feet?" First let me say...it's not easy...but it has a lot to do with foot positioning...angles...shade...sand...dirty water...and well timed distractions. Let me also say...I've never said that portions of my feet have never been seen...they have; a flash of my big toe...a glimpse of my my pinkie toe...a brief, indistinct vision of my toe nail fungus - YES - this happens all the time...but full foot nudity...NEVER...it has never happened!!! Ask anyone, "Have you ever seen Ken(ny)'s feet?" And they'll say, "Yes, of course I have...ah wait...yes, I think I have...wait, let me think...actually I don't think I ever have seen his feet..."

So how do I do it??? Wait...I can't...I can't tell you my secrets!!!! Just like a true magician doesn't share his secrets...I can't share mine!! But notice in the picture above and below...notice the precise positioning of the feet...is it a coincidence you can't really see my feet???? NO!!! This is by design...I am very in-tune to my surroundings especially when my feet are exposed...I know precisely where and when pictures are taken...and I make sure a clear shot at my feet is impossible...paparazzi - eat your hearts out!!!!!...

Later on Sunday we went to the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater to see 38 Special, REO Speedwagon (I'm Gunna Keep On Lovin You), and STYX (Come Sail Away)...it was GREAT!!!

We got there early to get good seats...

Here's REO Speedwagon...

On Monday we rented a boat and went tubing on Lake Lanier...here's Ron and Vicky soaking up the sun with Kelsie and Hannah being dragged behind...

Here's Cam and me FLYING across the water on the tube!!!!! ...don't let the lack of waves fool you - WE ARE FLYING!!!! ...sure a lack of waves usually means the boat isn't going very fast...but not in this case...Cam and I are NOT wimps!!!! We are rough and tough and we are FLYING across the water!!!!!

I let Kelsie drive the boat for while...here's Kelsie looking at a cute boy on a passing by boat while she was "driving" the boat...that's me behind her looking at Ron about to get run over by a boat Kelsie just cut off...

A thunder storm came in around 2:00 pm and so we had to call it an early day...

On Tuesday we went to Six Flags...here are the kids with Buggs...

Here is Sheri and Vicky...

Here's Cam going on a Roller Coaster...sort of...

Andrew Klaus and Cam after riding on Thunder River...

Hannah and Kelsie on the swings...

Here is Cameron on his favorite ride with Andrew...the swings...

It was a very hot day 95+...Vicky and I purchased drinks to cool off...Ron finds panting to be a much better way to cool his body...

There's more excitement to come...

Weekend in review...

2009-05-25T20:16:00.012-04:00

The weekend began with Cameron graduating from 5th grade...

Here's a little sample of the ceremony...

Here's Cam with a few of his classmates...

Buddies...

On Saturday we met friends in Nashville for a weekend of swimming, shopping, and golf...

My friend Dale is a History/Social Studies teacher in Hazelwood Central. I learn something new every time I'm with him. He is always making profound statements...and this weekend was no exception...if my memory serves me correctly here he is making the profound statement, "Could someone please pass the Ketchup...?"

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Here we are at Ruby Tuesdays...

After dinner we played some card games...

We played three rounds of golf over the weekend...before each round we met in the lobby for breakfast...

The courses we covered with turtles...here's a large snapping turtle...

Cam learned the finer points of golf over the weekend...here he is meeting the snack lady at the Two Rivers Golf Course...

Cameron liked the snack lady so much at Two Rivers he made it a point to meet the snack lady at the Presidential Golf Course...

Cam's game really improved over the weekend...check out this swing...

Cam can teach me a few things about a golf swing...

Here's the group on the 18th hole on the last day of golf...we were all tired at this point...

Is this my little girl?

2009-05-12T21:18:00.005-04:00

Weekend in Review...

2009-05-10T20:31:00.010-04:00

Piano Recital...Baseball...Horses...Mother's Day...Dresses...

On Friday night Cameron had his piano recital. I am VERY proud of him. He did a fantastic job!! Here is a picture of Cameron with the other students and his Piano teacher.

It was a LONG program but I'm not complaining...however...there was a Taliban Terrorist in the back row who was overheard saying, "If I had a choice I'd choose waterboarding over THIS anytime..."

Here is Cameron waiting for the recital to begin...he is sitting next to a girl who goes to his school. After the recital I asked him who the little girl next to him was...he said, "Daaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddd!!!!!" Can anyone help me to understand what that means???? I think this picture might help answer my question...

On Saturday Cameron had a big game...a battle for first place. It was a very exciting game. It was a real nail bitter until the last out. Unfortunately his team lost 4-2. But that's okay...it's not whether you win or lose...it's how you play the game. I'm just so glad Cameron enjoys playing; it's a good opportunity to get some fresh air and to enjoy the great outdoors!!! It's also good for me. I get to interact with the other parent as we sit in our chairs and watch our team give their best effort!

Like I said it was a close game. The other team scored all their runs in the first inning. The other team's first run came when our third baseman, who comes from such a nice family and who has terrific parents, missed a slow grounder which went right between his legs. The next run came when that kid I just mentioned missed a pick off throw!!! It was thrown right to him but the punk missed it!!!! It went right through his hands!!!!! How???? I don't know!!!! How do you miss a ball that's thrown right at you????? The third run came when this SNOT NOSED kid playing third base, who has NOOOOO business playing anything but water boy AND who can't catch a ball to save his stinking life dropped a ball that was thrown to him when a player was trying to steal third...all the lousy, sticking kid had to do is catch the ball!!!!! He would have been out by a mile!!!! HOW HARD IS IT TO CATCH A LOUSY, STINKING WHITE BALL...I MEAN COME ON!!!!! CATCH THE BALL BUDDY!!!!!!!! HERE, LET ME TIE THE BALL WITH A RIBBON AND HAND IT TO YOU - MAYBE THEN YOU CAN CATCH IT!!!!!!! :)

Here is Cameron crushing the ball to the right side...

On Sunday Kelsie had to go to work...on the weekends I drive her to her job. If I didn't mention it...Kelsie was asked recently if she wanted a job riding a horse. The horse's name is Blackjack. Apparently the man who owns Blackjack has a bad back and he can't ride him anymore. Kelsie pays me $5.00 to drive her back and forth...I haven't seen a penny of it yet...BUT I WILL!!!

Kelsie has become a beautiful young lady...here she is being checked out by some young stallions...

She had to lock them up to keep them away from her...

Here's a video of Kelsie hard at work...shouldn't the horse be the one getting paid?

Kelsie has her first dance this Friday night...or maybe it's the first dance I'll let her go to...I can't remember. Over the past few weeks she has been busy shopping for the perfect dress. She found a couple of dresses that she liked and she needs help in deciding which one to wear. Can you let me know which one you think she looks best in?

Do you like this very classy, sophisticated black dress which makes her looks like a beautiful, elegant, sophisticated young lady? Or...or...or...do you like the one which makes her look like a....

If she was ever to walk out of this house in this dress she would be grounded for life!!!!!

When you look at the next three pictures I want you to ask yourself what you see. Do you see clumps of crabgrass? Do you see weeds? Do you see hours and hours of yard work? OR...OR...OR...OR do you see OPPORTUNITY?????

I SEE OPPORTUNITY!!!!! THE OPPORTUNITY TO BECOME THE NEXT TIGER WOODS!!!!

Camarachi and my new favorite activity...MULCHING!!!

2009-05-06T21:17:00.005-04:00

Here's my little boy practicing for his show (recital)...sounds pretty good!!

As you know I spent a lot of time "mulching" over the weekend. If mulching isn't a word...it should be! I have two different colors of mulch.
On the right...the mulch I picked out from the store...on the left the mulch I ordered without seeing the color...

I like the darker red mulch more...

Weekend in review...

2009-05-03T20:47:00.008-04:00

This was another busy weekend...

It started out on Friday with Cameron's baseball game...they won 10-2...

After the game on Friday we had some good friends from St. Louis come in for a long weekend visit...here is Kelsie with her close friend Heather Kotlarzek...this isn't how you spell her last name...there's a bunch of c's and z's in her name that don't make sense so I just spelled it phonetically...

On Saturday Heather and Kelsie went horseback riding...but before they went riding they had to clean out the horse's stalls...why is it that Kelsie will take a pitchfork and clean out piles and piles of horse manure but she won't clean our toilets at home because 'THAT'S DISGUSTING'????

Here are Kelsie and Cameron riding together...they like to complain about each other but when they're busy having fun they sometimes forget they're not supposed to like each other and they have a great time together...here is one of those touching brother/sister moments...as you can see they are very close...

On Sunday the girls went out to get pampered...while I stayed at home and "pulled weeds"... (from left to right...Ruth...Heather...Kelsie...)

I spent most of Saturday and Sunday doing yard work...I had a truck load of mulch delivered...below are the results of all my hard work...my hands are blistered and bleeding, my back hurts, and I'm sunburned - but do I complain? - NO!! All I asked for are a few 'poor babies' and I'm fine... (I'm a throw back to a time when men were men) As you can see, my hard work was well worth it...

Note to Ron Klaus and Kenny Croke: It's safe to come down...I've done all the hard work...

....................

Hong Kong Phooey

2009-04-29T21:06:00.003-04:00

Weekend(s) in Review

2009-04-19T09:54:00.010-04:00

Okay, first of all, this video did not take place over the weekend. This is a video of my nephew Joseph when he was a little boy. It was taken on an old video camera and so the quality is very poor...but I think it's still interesting...

Last weekend we had the neighborhood kids come over for an Easter Egg hunt...they were required to pull a weed for every egg they found...we needed a lot more eggs...

Here's my little girl riding her horse...when I picked her up on Thursday she was riding bare back! She's a throw back to a time when women were women!

Cameron had a game on Friday night...his team whooped up on the other team. Cam went one for two and he made a GREAT play in the field! Here he is running to third base after a wild pitch...

On Saturday we spent the day cleaning the front yard...

I had my shirt off when I started working but the police pulled up and "asked" me to put my shirt back on...I'm not sure why...he did say something about being repulsive...but I'm not sure...

Weekend in review

2009-04-05T15:56:00.007-04:00

With Sheri, Kelsie, and Cameron gone to Florida for the week I've been able to catch up on a lot of things I've been wanting to do for a long time:
1. I checked how much money I have remaining on all the gift cards I have in my wallet.
A. Quiznos = $.70
B. Quiznos 2 = $7.96
C. Regals movie theater = $10.00
D. Regals movie theater 2 = $10.00
E. B Dalton = $25.00
F. Dicks Sporting Goods = $8.32
2. I had a chance to go through all my unmatched sox to find matches. One thing I found is that I have more individual sox than I have matched sox. Out of the 134 individual sox I have I was able to put together 3 matches. So if you know anyone who only has one foot please call me. I have a lifetime supply of sox for a one footed man.
3. Since I have some extra time I decided to take this opportunity to catch the flu. I've enjoyed it even though I don't have the pleasure of sharing my suffering with anyone else.
4. I have one more item on my 'to do list' this weekend. I plan on cleaning out my freezer. I'm going to throw out all my food that has freezer burn.

Next week I think I'm going to slow down a little - my jet set lifestyle is wearing me out....

The "Man Trip"

2009-03-30T20:54:00.005-04:00

What Happens in Nashville...DOESN'T stay in Nashville...

2009-03-29T20:27:00.001-04:00

Cameron the Environmentalist...

2009-03-25T22:20:00.003-04:00

Cameron was selected to be the lead in a recycling commercial for Mashburn Elementary...I asked Cam why he was selected to be the lead...he told me, "Dad...it's because of my good looks...' I think he was selected for his humbleness...

Update to the flooding in my basement...The Weekend in Review Part II

2009-03-08T18:50:00.013-04:00

I mentioned in an earlier post that I heard water gushing in my basement when I was walking upstairs to go to bed. Here is a picture I took when I reached the bottom of my basement steps. A lot has happened since this time...the Water Restoration Company (aka Water Sucker Uppers) was here...the Insurance Adjuster (aka Money Sucker Outers)...and the Carpet Cleaner Uppers have been at my house more than I have been over the past 2 weeks...

But they're finally gone. This weekend Cameron and I spent a lot of time putting all the furniture back in place...and it's just in time...we're getting ready for a visit from the Jensen/Murrey Clan.

Here's the Rec Room in the basement...looks pretty good if I do say so myself...

Since I had to take all my books off the shelves for the Water Sucker Uppers I decided to put the books back in a neater, more organized way...if you can zoom in you'll notice a section for the classics; Tom Sawyer, The Grapes of Wrath, etc. There's a section for my favorite Political Books; The Tempting of America, The Tragedy of American Compassion, The Road to Serfdom, Free to Choose, etc. I also have a section for my text books, DVD's, and records. You know how it feels good when you organize things...I "pity the fool" who moves these books - even a inch - they will die a slow painful death :)

I even cleaned up my Cave...aka the Storage Room...aka the Workout Room...aka the Cat Room. I used some of the extra carpeting from one of the rooms upstairs...it looks pretty good...

I put the furniture back in the guest room...hmmm...looks good...a little moldy...but good :)

I even cleaned up the room where the flood started...this is the room with the furnace, water heater, and various other pipes, wires, nobs, valves...doodads...thing-a-ma-jiggers...you know...the stuff that a guy who grew up in an apartment has no idea what they do. Well, I might not know what these things do...BUT...the room is SO clean it will be easy for one of those smart, handy guys (you know the guys who look at me like I'm an idiot when I can't answer questions like, "Where's your main water shut off?") to find the broken twisty, valvy, what-cha-ma-call-it, doodads, thingys...so they can fix it...

The Weekend in Review...Part I

2009-03-07T21:03:00.008-05:00

This weekend got off to a bad start. We all had plans to go to Kelsie's Horse Show in South Carolina but on Thursday we found out Cameron had a pre-season baseball game and so we had to change our plans. We had to decide how to cover the game and the horse show. I asked Kelsie if she would like me or mommy to take her to her show. She looked at me and said, "Uhhhh...uhhh...uhhhh...I don't know." That was enough to tell me my little girl...didn't want me to take her...sniff, sniff...whatever happened to that little girl who used to love spending time with her daddy???

Friday morning started off even worse. When Kelsie woke up she "broke her toe". - She didn't want me to drive her to her horse show - she breaks a toe...a coincidence...I think not :) - I'm sure she broke her toe because she told me she did and when I looked at her toe I agreed, "Yes Kels it does look swollen. It might be broken." She looked up at me and said, "Aaa...Daddy, It's the other foot...." Luckily for Kelsie her bones heal very quickly...it appears her broken toe healed in just under 1.5 hours...maybe sooner.

When Cameron woke up on Friday he felt a little weak and shaky but he thought he felt good enough to go to school. He made it through about 4 hours of school before he had to come home. I had to leave work early to go home and take care of him because Kelsie and Sheri had to leave at 4:30 p.m. to drive to South Carolina. Here he is recovering in the Intensive Care Unit at the Hand Memorial Hospital.
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On Saturday Cameron woke up feeling a little weak but strong enough for his game. Around 2:00 p.m. we drove to Central Park fields in Cumming for the big game. Unfortunately, there was some miscommunication between our coaches and the park staff. The game had to be cancelled because the fields were all being used by several traveling teams who were having an all day tournament at the park. Cam did get a little batting practice in so the trip to the park wasn't a total waste. Plus we watched some of the tournament while enjoying the 75 degree weather.

After we left the park we went home and took care of some things around the house. As you know from my previous post we had a flood last week. We had to put all our furniture in the basement back in position...

After a movie (Zzz) and dinner (burp) we went to my office to pickup a few things I left when I ran out of the office on Friday to take care of Cam. Here's Cameron pulling into the visitor parking space in the UPS parking lot...

I gave Cam a quick tour. In our lobby we have a small model of the UPS Corporate Offices...

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Here's Cam riding in my own private elevator...

Here's Cam chilling in my chair...

Here' Cam watching me chill in my chair...

Here's Cam waiting to get on my private elevator to go home...in case someone from UPS reads this...I know it's not exactly my own private elevator but I'm trying to impress the people who read my blog...

In the lobby we have a replica of the first package car UPS ever used.

The weekend's not over so there might be more to come...

Weekend Update...

2009-03-01T14:41:00.008-05:00

Friday started out with my daughter, Kelsie Lyn Gardner Collins Hand having six, YES six, baby teeth pulled out by an Oral Surgeon. Lucky for Kelsie, President Obama included $750,000,000 in his budget for the Tooth Fairy. Apparently, the Tooth Fairy overextended herself and was on the verge of bankruptsy. I'm not sure how it happened but I'm sure it was George Bush's fault. There were a few stipulations to this bailout. The Tooth Fairy will no longer be able to give money to children of parents who earn more than $250,000 per year. There will be an Earned Income Tooth Credit for children whose teeth don't fall out. And finally rich kids have to give 50% of their teeth to poor kids because on average rich children have more teeth then poor kids and that gives rich kids an unfair advantage over poor kids. Based on Obama's plan Kelsie will receive $5 per tooth but only if she commits to 5 years in the Peace Corp, promises to recycle, "volunteers" to help the needy, and donates $24 to the DNC.

As of Sunday, Kelsie is doing extremely well - all things considered. With only 2 teeth remaining in her mouth...all she needs to do is go to school without shoes on and she'll fits in perfectly with all her other Southern Redneck friends.

Here are the teeth Kelsie had pulled...one tooth below is not actually one of Kelsie's teeth...can you guess which one?

On Saturday Kelsie, Cameron, and I went to McDonald's for our weekly Daddy/Daughter/Son time. We had a great time but we were there for 4 hours because Kelsie had no teeth to chew her Hot Cakes and Cinnamon Melt so we had to wait for the food to dissolve in her mouth.

After McDonald's Cameron had an indoor baseball practice. I am very impressed with Cameron's coaches and his teammates. They are all very nice and the coaches do an excellent job running their baseball practices. They are excellent teachers of the game and they run a very efficient, effective practice. Cameron will be playing 2nd base and he'll do some pitching this year. He is having his best spring training ever - I am expecting great things again from him this year!

I spent Saturday night as Kelsie's chauffeur. I took her and her friends to the AMC Movie Theater at The Avenue to see the Pink Panther. After the movie I took them to "Seussical" a musical about Dr. Seuss stuff. They loved it. What did I do while they were at the movie and musical? I sat in my car reading an Accounting Book...brushing up on accruals, deferrals, owner's equity, assets, liabilities, income statements, cash flow statements, treasury stock, par value, contributed capital - I can't wait to get to the end of the book to see how it ends. I'm guessing it ends with a banking crises and a deep recession which is solved by doing more of the same that got us into this mess...

Sunday has been a strange day. Global Warming is hitting Georgia hard! It looks like we're going to get a couple of inches of snow. I'm so thankful Al Gore brought the danger of Global Warming to our attention. If we act soon we might be able to turn this warming trend around before it's too late. Maybe if we all stop driving cars and passing gas, like Al Gore suggested, this global warming trend will end...

The Second Great Flood...

2009-02-23T12:48:00.003-05:00

Believe it or not it happened again. I woke up at 5:00 a.m. on Sunday morning to sounds which reminded me of Niagra Falls. I had to swim around the basement to find out exactly what the problem was...I found out that our water heater had busted and water was gushing out of it - all over my basement. I swam into the guest room, then into the bathroom, then to the rec room, and finally to the storage room...it was an incredible mess.

The first thing I did was I opened up the basement door to let some of the water out...then I went to Home Depot to buy a wetvac...it was like trying to empty out the Atlantic Ocean with a spoon. Later on we had some guy come over to clean up the rest of the water. Today it looks much better in my basement...the carpeting soaked up all the water...

Here's a video of the 8 fans and the one humidifier I have in the basement now. I have a plumber coming over at 2:00 to put in a new hot water heater...by 4:00 p.m. we should be back to normal...

Another busy weekend...

2009-02-08T11:56:00.005-05:00

We had another busy weekend...we hosted a "Walking Wisely" weekend for Kelsie's Church Small Group. Walking Wisely is a weekend activity for Kelsie's church youth group where they spend time learning about God, having fun, and eating ALOT of junk food. They used our house as their home base...what this means is there was alot of screaming girls in my house over the weekend keeping me up until 5:00 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday.

Cameron had his first basketball playoff game on Saturday. He had his best game - he had about 6 rebounds, he scored 2 points, he made several excellent passes, and he played tough defense. His team won 21-18.

Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures but...I did spend some time over the weekend sorting out old videos. I came across several old videos of Kelsie and Cameron. I forgot how cute they used to be...it's amazing how quickly things change...

Pretty please...

Would someone PLEASE give this boy some Wheat Thins!!!

Let's do it...

Hey! Let's not start that again...

Another busy weekend...

2009-02-01T19:55:00.005-05:00

We had another busy weekend. Cameron had a basketball game on Friday - we won't talk about that...He had another game on Saturday - his team won about 32 - 20. Cameron played another tough defensive game and he made a number of excellent passes. After his game we bought a new bat for Cam - paying for it with the gift certificate Santa gave him this past Christmas. We then rented out a batting cage for 30 minutes to break-in the bat.

On Sunday Kelsie had a Horse Show - she came in second place in her class!!!! Her second place finish was the highest finish on her team. Below is a short clip from her show...

Cameron had baseball evaluations on Sunday. They were given 6 swings, and 5 plays in the field. For the boys who want to pitch they were given 5 pitches. Based on these swings, plays, and pitches the teams will be chosen...

Here's a few more clips from Kelsie whopping Cameron's friends in arm wrestling...Kelsie's a throw back to a time when woman were woman...

Basketball and Belated Birthday Celebration

2009-01-24T23:07:00.009-05:00

On Saturday, January 24th, the Tar Heels beat the Yellow Jackets by a score of 108 to 72. The Tar Heels were led by Cameron Hand who had his 4th triple/double of the year. He scored 29 points, had 13 rebounds, and 11 assists. Cameron leads the league in scoring, rebounding, and assists. He is also leading in All-Star balloting with 502,000 votes. Ok...ok...none of this is true other than Cameron's team won on Saturday.

The score was 27 to 17. Cameron scored one basket, he had 3 rebounds, and he played awesome defense. It was a fun game to watch...here's just a few of the "highlights"...

I know the video quality makes it hard to see Cam...but he's #2 in the light blue uniform...

Cleaning up the Yellow Jackets in basketball wasn't all Cameron did this weekend...11 years and 3 days ago, at 3:00 a.m. in the morning, Cameron showed his face in this world for the first time. We celebrated with 3 of Cameron's "best and closest friends". They went bowling, played Lazer Tag, ate, and sang to celebrate with Cameron. Oh yea, and Cameron's favorite sister - Kelsie Lyn - and her friend came along too. Kelsie even found time to whoop all the boys in arm westling!! Something I will never let the boys live down!!

Here are the boys at the Bowling Alley...they bowled 300...that is...when you added ALL their scores together for both games...

We almost got kicked out of Fudruckers when the boys brought in their "GUNS"...

Fortunately...or not...we found out the "Guns" the boys had were actually Pop Guns...notice how each of the boys got whooped by a girl! Here's Kelsie schooling the boys in the fine art of arm westling...

After the boys were whooped by a little girl it shouldn't surprise you they sang "Hey There Delilah" as they skipped on their way home...

The Weekend in Review...

2009-01-18T19:58:00.011-05:00

It's been a very busy week. Sheri is in St. Louis on a business trip and so I'm playing Mr. Mom. I've been running the kids around to school, church, and sports activities all week long. Not to mention cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, ironing, etc...it's a lot easier than I thought. But I have to admit I'm trying to figure a few things out...like "Why are all my white clothes now pink?", and "What's a good side dish for Cheese Doodles and Mountain Dew?" and "Is there a stain remover for an iron burn on a shirt?' and "Is showering once a week enough for a 10 year old boy?"... oh yea, and one more thing, "How often do boys need to brush their teeth...once, twice, or three times...a week?"

My load lighted on Friday when I took my little girl to the airport for her first solo flight from Atlanta to St. Louis. One of her Christmas presents from Santa was a trip to St. Louis to see family and friends. I was very impressed with Kelsie's calm, cool demeanor as she walked onto the plane by herself (along with 50 other people). But I couldn't have been anymore impressed with her after she called me on the phone and told me her plane was diverted back to Atlanta for mechanical problems. Most people would have been a little nervous about flying after finding out the plane had mechanical problems - but not my little girl. She was a little upset that she was going to get into St. Louis late but she wasn't the least bit concerned about flying.

With the girls in St. Louis - Cameron and I had a "Guy's Weekend". He had a basketball game on Friday night and Saturday afternoon - unfortunately, I didn't have a video camera to video tape the games...come to think of it...maybe it was better I didn't have a camera...they lost both games.

The weekend wasn't all fun and games for us...we had to do some manly yard work too. As some of you know I have had some trees fall down in my yard recently. Cameron and I had to break out the chain saw (grunt, grunt) to chop up some trees. Cameron came up with the great idea to build a log cabin with the trees we chopped up...unfortunately it was after we cut up our biggest tree into tiny little pieces. Luckily we had a few other trees fall down and so we have about half the logs we need to build a good log cabin.

Here's the start of our log cabin...ok...it's not much at this point...but give us some time...it will improve...

Since we've moved to Georgia I've been promising Cameron we would go explore downtown Atlanta...our first stop...the Georgia Dome...home of the Atlanta Falcons...

Next stop...the Georgia Aquarium...

Stop # 3...CNN...

We stopped by Olympic Centennial Park...

Next, we stopped by Phillip's Arena...

We ate lunch at the Varsity...across from Georgia Tech...

Here's Cam getting ready to dig into a "Naked Dog" and a "Chili, Cheese, Slaw, Dog"...don't worry - he drank a Diet Coke to off-set the unhealthiness...of the dogs...

Since Cameron is off tomorrow...he invited a couple of friends to sleep over...here they are eating some Mello Mushroom Pizza...

Here are the boys chilling in the basement...they're going to sneak the chicks in after I fall asleep...

Risky Business

2008-12-16T20:55:00.005-05:00

Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T22:10:00.006-05:00

I spent the Thanksgiving Holiday with the Collin's Family in Coal Valley, Illinois. We had a great time. The food was delicious and the company was great. We spent a lot of time playing games, going to the movies (James Bond, Bolt), shopping, and spending time together. Jim and Bonnie always make everyone feel at home and make sure there's plenty to do and PLENTY TO EAT! Unfortunately, I had to leave earlier than expected because of the snow. To make sure I made it back to Georgia on Sunday night I took an earlier flight...I didn't want to take the chance my later flight would be cancelled. Jewel was very happy to see me when I got home...here's a picture of the snow at 9:00 a.m. in Coal Valley...

Here's a quick look at one of the games we played...I think it's called Band Hero...you play the drums, guitar, and sing...listen...I'm sure you'll be very impressed with my talented family...well actually you probably won't be impressed but it was fun anyway...you might even want to turn OFF the volume on your computer before listening to it. On the guitar is Kelsie, on the drums is Cameron, and singing is my niece Shayna...

Before we left to go to Coal Valley I cleaned out the basement and I took pictures of most of my pictures...

The Grand Illusion

2008-11-23T17:19:00.003-05:00

This will not be my typical poll but I would like for people to guess what this is a video of:

1. The Rock Band Styx in concert playing The Grand Illusion...

2. The church service I attended last week - the band was teeing up the Pastor's messege...

3. A YouTube video of a local Georgia Band...

4. My nephew's band - he's the lead singer and they are touring Europe in the Summer of 2009...

5. I've decided to leave UPS and become a rode (?) for Styx...

BTW, the woman sitting in front is an interpreter for the deaf...

Breakfast w/Cameron - His philosophy of grammar

2008-11-23T09:25:00.003-05:00

Cameron and I go to McDonald's every Saturday. This weekend we also went on Sunday....we have the most interesting, in depth conversations about everything from the Greatest Super Heroes to Politics to...grammar...here's a conversation we had recently about the shortcomings of our English language and his recommendations to streamline it...

Best Looking Feet Competition!! Vote Early...Vote Often...

2008-11-15T11:37:00.003-05:00

Alright, I'm sure you're wondering why in the world I have pictures of feet on my blog. Well, it's because during my parent's visit my father made the assertion he has "the most beautiful feet in the world." Now, anyone who knows me knows my feet are the John Merritt of feet (In fact, no one other than my two children have ever seen my feet - true story), however, I am thankful to say the ugly feet gene was not passed on to my son. As I sat and listened to my father boast about how "beautiful" his feet are I couldn't take it any longer and so I challenged him to a "Best Looking Feet Competition"...but instead of competing against me...I asked him to compete against Cameron. Before I knew it my father and Cameron pulled off their socks and they said almost in unison, "Bring it on homey - you're going down!!!!"

So that is the story of the Best Looking Feet Competition and a little insight into my very odd family...

Foot #1:

Foot #2:

Foot 3:

For those of you confused about the John Merritt reference...John Merritt is the actual name of the "Elephant Man"...

Big Canoe...

2008-11-15T10:37:00.004-05:00

On Thursday my dad and I played golf at the Big Canoe Resort...a resort community nestled high in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Georgia...the leaves were beautiful autumn colors...it was overcast and misting...it was 58 degrees...there was barely a breeze in the air...we had the WHOLE course to ourselves (except for the deer and wild turkeys)...we both shot in the 70's (I'll leave out the number of holes we played...that's not important)...if you've ever wondered what a perfect day of golf is...well, this was it...

2008-11-12T17:59:00.002-05:00

Helen, Georgia

2008-11-09T20:19:00.005-05:00

We took my parents to Helen, Georgia. A village nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains on the Chattahoochee River. This Georgia village has a rich history linked to the Cherokee Indians and Indian burial mounds as well as early settlers who arrived to mine for gold and cut virgin timber for a thriving lumber industry in the early 1900s. Helen is a re-creation of an alpine village complete with cobblestone alleys and old-world towers. They have shopping, camping, both rustic and luxury mountain cabins, restaurants, bed and breakfast inns, mountains, theater, recreation, romantic getaways, beautiful scenery, family activities, waterfalls, museums, history, art, fishing, tubing, golf, and more. Something for every member of the family. (I copied and pasted this from Wikipedia...)

This guy was amazing. He played Beethoven's 23rd Symphony with this contraption on his back...

We ate at a genuine German Restaurant...the kids ate on the way home at Wendy's...

Here's a picture of a couple of German kids we bumped into as we were walking around...

After a day of shopping, eating, and having a good time we decided to take a horse and carriage ride around the village of Helen...

Kelsie and Grandpa Hand driving back home...Kelsie's on the left...

Bavarian Water Fountains...

2008-11-09T19:55:00.003-05:00

The Bavarian Village in Helen, GA had one of the most beautiful Water fountains I have ever seen. Cameron was particularly stricken by its' beauty...here are several pictures of Cameron admiring the water spouts which shot out from several areas...

Invaded by the HAND Family...

2008-11-08T22:29:00.009-05:00

My Mother, Father, Gena, and Philip arrived at 4:00 p.m. on Saturday. They intended to stop off at their condo first but their GARMIN kept telling them..."Recalculating, recalculating, recalculating..." finally it screamed, "I'm not going to freaken recalculate anymore!!!! I'm sick and tired of you NOT LISTENING TO ME!!! If you don't want to follow my directions why don't you just turn me off!!!!????? What is so difficult about following my directions. When I tell you 'turn left' that means TURN LEFT!!!"

We were glad to see them earlier than we expected (except Philip)...here's the picture of the Motley Crew after a long drive...

Here's a picture of my parent's Condo looking down from the loft. It's located in Marble Hill, Georgia, right on the 14th hole of the Bear Creek Golf Course...

Here's the beautiful view from their deck...

I think this is a very funny picture. To really appreciate it you need to click on it so it enlarges. I'm not sure what I said to my parents for them to both have such confused/bewildered looks on their faces. I put down a few things I might have said to them...I need you to come up with what you think I said to them...

* "Mom...Dad....Philip's pregnant again..."

* "Mom...Dad...you know that "little procedure" Richie had done? Well, he now wants to be called Richacita and he now has a "very good friend" named Bob..."

* "Mom...Dad...I voted a straight democratic ticket...GO OBAMA!!"

2008-11-03T19:47:00.007-05:00

It's lucky Ron is the greatest UPS Driver...because he's the WORST camera man!!!

Ron Klaus' best side...

It got a little wild on Saturday Night in our hotel room (women, wine, and song!!!)...here's just a small example of the craziness...

The First Annual Ron's World Invitational Golf Tournament

2008-11-03T06:26:00.007-05:00

The "First Annual Ron's World Invitation Golf Tournement" was held in Nashville, Tennessee over the weekend. My golfing buddies from St. Louis, Mike Kotlarczyk, his son and my future son-in-law Michael Kotlarczyk, and of course, Ron Klaus met in Nashville and we played golf all weekend long.

Below are some of the highlights (lowlights) of the weekend...

"No Ron, this only has 12 balls in here. This will only last you for two holes..."

We played Gaylord Springs Golf Course...only REAL men and men who are comfortable with their manliness can play golf at a course called Gaylord...

It was a beautiful course...before t-time they gave you a bag of balls to warm up with on the driving range...

It was a tough course; there was a lot of water, a lot of bunkers, and a lot of narrow fairways...

We stayed at The Embassy Suites...and pigged out on eggs, bacon, pancakes, and potatos on Sunday before our 9:10 a.m. T time...

Here's a picture of Michael hitting one of his many 285 yards drives...straight down the middle of the fairway...

Mike...Ken(ny), Michael, and Ron...

You've Had a Wonderful Life...Mom and Dad...

2008-10-16T22:06:00.006-04:00

This weekend we celebrated my parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary. People from all over the country came to celebrate; all our Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and friends were there. Sometimes it takes special occassions like anniversaries to help you realize what your life has meant to other people. I hope my parents saw first hand what their lives have meant to the people around them.

The night couldn't have gone any smoother - it was perfect! I want to thank my sister Patricia...although she is very graciously giving credit to everyone...she was the force behind bringing the whole night together - she did an incredible job.

My parent's lives have had a....gotta go...I'll finish this later...

Weekend Highlights...

2008-10-16T08:52:00.007-04:00

Kelly "Mia Hamm"...what a "Cutie Petootie"...

Motley Crew...

Kelsie, Me, and Gabrielle...

Surprise...

My Mother's Maid of Honor...

Aunt Dot and Mom...

Aunt Robbie and Mom...

Aunt Elaine, Aunt Cathy, Mom, and Uncle Tommy...

Mom and Aunt Joan...

Richie and Phil's tribute to Mom and Dad...

My tribute to my Mom and my Dad...Dad, you owe me big time for what I left out...

The tears were flowing... :)

The next generation of Hand's...Croke's...and Muro's...

The Weekend In Review...and...The Stroke...

2008-10-05T21:10:00.004-04:00

It was a very busy weekend. Sheri returned from her quarterly visit back to St. Louis. She works from home for the US Airforce but she's required to fly back to Scott Airforce base on a quarterly basis. This works out well because it gives her a chance to reconnect with her friends in St. Louis. She had a great time seeing friends and family...thank you for taking care of her...

While she was gone Jim and Bonnie came in to help me around the house. I am a very lucky man to have in laws like Jim and Bonnie...not only do they take care of the kids they also do a lot of work around the house...I wish I had as much energy as them...I also really enjoy their company. The kids and I love them so much we even let them come with us to McDonald's on Saturday... One of the highlights of their visits is when Jim and I sneak away to play some golf. We've worked in two rounds of golf...I won't talk about the first round...I'd rather focus on the round today. We usually play 9 holes...I usually lose 11 balls...and I usually shoot a 59. But not today...today I had 1 birdie...2 pars...I didn't lose ANY balls...ZERO mulligans...ZIPPO gimmies...and I shot a 45. That's about as good as it gets for me.

On Saturday Cameron had a baseball game. The coach is really noticing Cameron's skills. He has him playing shortstop and batting first. Cameron didn't disappoint the coach...he ripped a single his first time up...stole two bases...and scored...on defense he made a spectacular play at short stop stopping a potential rally...leading his team to a 6 - 3 victory.

Kelsie had ANOTHER friend sleep over last night...a very nice girl who is actually from Georgia. On Saturday night we all went to the Cumming County Fair. It had been a while since we went to a fair...we had a lot of fun! Don't worry I stayed away from the deep fried twinkies...I focused instead on deep fried Ho-Ho's...deep fried Suzie Q's...and funnel cakes...burp...

BTW, the prodical cat returned last Sunday...Jewel said, "The litter box isn't greener on the other side of the fence..."

Below is a montage of the weekends events...

What time is it? It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

2008-09-27T22:51:00.005-04:00

More Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

Missing - Jewel Hand

2008-09-27T10:20:00.000-04:00

2008-09-24T22:23:00.002-04:00

You Make the Call! Ball or Strike?

2008-09-20T22:07:00.003-04:00

New CNN Achors...

2008-09-16T21:55:00.005-04:00